By the way, that EA you had last summer...

First, thanks for being here. I've done a lot of reading and learning on this site and it's helped to preserve my sanity. This forum in particular has shown me what my gut was telling me. Stats: Married 15 years (both 44), 3 kids (10, 12 and 14). She's a stay at home mom. I've done startups to Fortune 500, currently building my own business. Last summer, after a few tumultuous years in our marriage my wife said she is done with me and wants me out. I'll take the hit for prior poor communication and not manning up. …too long for now but will elaborate if necessary. Sibling death, career ups and downs, move away from family/friends (to her home state / family), starting new business and financial instability while attempting to keep everyone happy resulted in my beta way overpowering my alpha. I didn't leave. We started counseling but didn't really get anywhere. The whole time I'm trying to reconcile with her and my own observations. She's getting in great shape, dressing sexier, out with friends, shunning me, guarding phone, criticizing…yeah I know, I get it now. My instincts were correct and a budding EA was cut off. By this I mean that I confronted the OM and it did stop. But my dumb@$$ did not confront her. Monitored and checked on every front I can conceive of and absolutely nothing since. Now to the present. Saturday night we have a sit down and whole bunch of stuff get brought up. Deciding that there's no better time than the present I confront the EA. She defended, targeted me, rationalized and then accepted responsibility. No real remorse was shown. What I got was, "I see that it was wrong and it will never happen again". So what now? Do I push buttons till I get a satisfactory remorse response? Chalk it up to a near-miss? Continue to work on me and our marriage to further prevent similar issues? Your feedback to the situation, these questions and any other advice is greatly appreciated.

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