| Hey... So first off I'm a bi guy, mainly interested in guys, early 20s... I wasn't really in to dating and stuff when I was a teen, more concerned with friends, video games and breaking the rules. I've been 'out' with friends since I was about 14, and there's never been any problem there. The few times I did feel like I liked someone it basically went terribly for one of a litany of reasons - initially just boilerplate stuff, but as the boilerplate failures stacked up I got more paranoid and scared and started putting myself out there less and causing more relationships to fail before they started because of said paranoia. I guess because me making a move was so rare it always ended up hurting more. Ive had self esteem issues as long as i can remember, i think I was just better at hiding them before. To be quite honest I've been in an emotional hole for a few years since about halfway through my degree, not sure what to do day to day, just aimlessly wandering around keeping myself alive by eating and drinking and such, but I'm trying to pull out of it and sort **** out, and this has always been a big problem for me. I'm also looking for work and shortly thereafter a new place of my own I guess, staying with parents right now after my house share ended. I feel like I need to know everything. I feel stunted in some way by my lack of experience of dating and relationships as a teen, and I'm too terrified now to try and talk to someone knowing that I'm going to make mistakes and do stuff wrong, and probably just look like an idiot. I have stupid questions in my head, like if I do see someone I think is cute what the hell do I say when the law of averages says they're probably straight? I feel like if i ask a straight guy out ill just get punched or something. Where can I meet people; I'm loathed to try gay bars because I don't enjoy them, so I dont think id meet someone I got on with in one? I've read of people just surfing through people on Facebook and stuff, but that seems weird and kinda creepy, and maybe better suited to a casual hookup than a longer term thing that I want, any thoughts on that? My interests are pretty limited these days having been pruned down over the last few years so i could avoid facing the world, so its hard to go find events where I might find likeminded people. I just want some nice guy who isn't gay gay (people are usually surprised im not straight, someone with the same sort of appearance) and is happy to take anything syrupy slow because I'm a newb to almost everything... I feel like I'm asking a lot, but am I? Also, fyi, there's no physical reason I'm terrified of this. I'm pretty good looking from what I've been told in the past, I'm not hiding a micropenis or anything and if I'm comfortable in a situation I can be really great to be around (used to write comedy as a hobby, not so much since the whole "emotional hole" thing.) I'm just so damn scared. Any advice relating to that pile of drivel above is welcome, and I'll thank you in advance for reading through my whining. Much love, anon. | |||
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