First of all I apologise if this will be so long and I wanna thank anyone who will read my story and give me genuine advice, its something that's really been bothering me lately.
So it started off with me in a relationship already. It was an unhappy relationship, he would mentally abuse me and manipulate me into doing whatever he wanted (9/10 of the times it was sex or some sort of sexual action) but I never had the courage to leave, I felt as if I needed him for some reason.
Then came along a guy who listened to me, was kind to me, never pushed me to do what I was uncomfortable doing (I'd like to point out that I have never slept with him yet and this story starts way back to the start of October). He was a genuine guy who made me feel like he actually cared. I agreed to go on two dates with him (I was still with the first guy).
We went on two consecutive dates, one on Friday the next on Saturday. It went absolutely perfect. The dates themselves got messed up because of reservations or whatever but we didn't care, we had a great time and I genuinely really liked this guy. At the end of the date on Saturday I knew what I had to do and I had the courage to do it.
I left the first guy that night. He tried to make me stay, he tried pleading, begging, threatening, spamming. I wasn't having any of it, I was so infatuated with the second guy that I didn't even care if the first guy just stopped existing. For the first time in a very long time I was happy.
He then got very nasty after I blocked him off of everything, he messaged my friends, sent screenshots of times when I got angry with them and needed a vent, made up lies and so much more. He even tried to threaten me and my family. (He's now with one of those girls in a relationship but that's a different story, turns out he was cheating on me the whole time with her so I don't feel as guilty for going on those dates)
Then sunday I noticed something strange. The second guy had blocked me off of facebook. I thought this was a bit weird, you don't spend two days with someone and have it go really well to then be blocked on facebook the next day? I whatsapped him asking if he had deactivated it hoping I got it wrong, literally seconds after I sent that message he had blocked me on there too. I didn't know what I had done wrong. I was honest to him about the guy I was in a relationship with and I knew it wouldn't have anything to do with that.
I spent the whole of sunday crying my eyes out wondering what I had done wrong, I felt like such a mug. My friends had fallen out with me, I had lost my relationship and I had lost the guy I really liked. It was all going so weird.
On Monday morning the second guy called me out of the blue. "I cant do this, I'll end up hurting you and I don't want that. Please you need to understand"
Those words stick in my head to this day. I accepted, didn't try to fight it or question it. All I knew was that he didn't want a relationship and although I thought it was drastic measures to prevent it, I understood.
I then find out hes got a girlfriend. He left her for me on the Friday before our date then got back with her sunday because of her pleading. I was literally gutted. At this point the first guy was stirring the drama BIG time, and I found it so hard to cope.
Eventually things got better, and on my way to get something to eat I bump into the second guy holding four coffees for his coworkers. I could tell he was struggling to hold them but he made a big effort to hold the door open for me like a gentleman would. I couldn't thank him, I couldn't even look at him. It had been a few months but I was still so heartbroken.
He texted me that day teasing me about my hair being tied up. We continued texting for a week before we met on a night out.
We had a very emotional chat, he apologised and told me he wanted to be with me but with no labels attached. I was completely up for this. We kissed, and I got in the taxi expecting to see him later like he promised.
He never turned up. The next day we argued and I told him to stop messing with my head. He said I messed with HIS head, because he told me how he felt and I "never said a word". He blocked me again and got back with his ex, AGAIN. I had been mugged off a second time and it hurt all over again.
I then had his ex message me calling me a psycho for not leaving him alone (even though I did) and getting nasty. I obviously retaliated and he messaged me to tell me he never wanted me to go near him, and that he did not want to associate with him in anyway.
2 weeks ago on a thursday I was outside a café having a cigarette with my friend before he pulled up in his car. I blanked him completely whilst he spoke to his friends and it was so easy for me to do this. I felt so happy that I could have a laugh whilst he was there, I really thought I was over him.
But when I was walking back to college he text me again to say "not gonna say hello?"
And it went from there. We met up on three days later (Saturday) and had a really good time. He told me him and his ex are done for good and he apologised for everything, she was so controlling to the point where he wasn't allowed to go back to his home town to see his family and friends. He felt suffocated. He told me that choosing her over me was the worst mistake of his life.
Yesterday he came to pick me up and we went for a late night maccies trip. We kissed a lot and things got heated but we never went as far as kissing. He is so cute sometimes. He will stop kissing me half way through just to look me in the eyes, he'll put his hand on my lap when we are driving, and he'll do extremely annoying things in a playful way (like trying to mess up my hair) and its weird because at the same time hes being cute, hes distant. He'll ask me a question and I'll feel like I have to cut down the answer because he doesn't want to know. I feel like hes in his own world and I'm just a game to him, but I like him so much that not being with him really hurts.
So what do I do? Anyone who knows me will know I don't give guys a second look never mind 3 chances, I can be so cold and yet here I am wrapped around his finger. Both exs are gone for good (I hope) but I cant help but feel like one day I'm gonna go to text him and find ive been blocked. I don't think I can handle the heartache again, and I know nothing will last forever but I need to know if it will be worth it in the end.
My friends all dislike him for what he has done but they've only seen the nasty side to him. So any advice from them is completely biased which is why I am hoping someone will help me here.
Put the internet to work for you.
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