My mother, a lifelong smoker, is now afflicted with a near-constant cough. Blames it on allergies, the weather, post-nasal drip, you name it. In fact, she and my father now sleep in separate rooms because HE can't take it anymore. (Yes, she has been tested for lung cancer, and so far everything's negative.) She also has poor sleep habits; for the past year, she will come home from work, fall asleep at 8 p.m., then get up at 4 a.m. to go through her day.
When she and my dad visit me (I have a rather-small one-bedroom apartment), she will fall asleep in a living room chair at 8 p.m., and wake up periodically during the early morning with the worst cough I've ever heard. It literally sounds like she's vomiting. I work an early shift Sunday through Thursday, and on previous visits her coughing has either kept me awake or awakened me well before my alarm goes off.
Frankly, I'm tired of listening to it and her excuses ("it's your cat's dander," "it's your dusty house," [which is a crock because I keep things VERY clean] "I didn't take my cough medicine," "it's the weather/allergies/pollen/etc."). Then she complains when I'm tired and don't want to socialize. So, here are my questions:
1) Am I selfish to want a peaceful night's sleep even when they visit? I know I cannot control her lifestyle choices, but I do control what I will put up with. On the other hand, they ARE my parents and I'd feel guilty at making them stay elsewhere just because of my mother's coughing.
2) What can I say/do to make her or them understand that I want peace in my own home?
Any/all comments/suggestions welcome.
When she and my dad visit me (I have a rather-small one-bedroom apartment), she will fall asleep in a living room chair at 8 p.m., and wake up periodically during the early morning with the worst cough I've ever heard. It literally sounds like she's vomiting. I work an early shift Sunday through Thursday, and on previous visits her coughing has either kept me awake or awakened me well before my alarm goes off.
Frankly, I'm tired of listening to it and her excuses ("it's your cat's dander," "it's your dusty house," [which is a crock because I keep things VERY clean] "I didn't take my cough medicine," "it's the weather/allergies/pollen/etc."). Then she complains when I'm tired and don't want to socialize. So, here are my questions:
1) Am I selfish to want a peaceful night's sleep even when they visit? I know I cannot control her lifestyle choices, but I do control what I will put up with. On the other hand, they ARE my parents and I'd feel guilty at making them stay elsewhere just because of my mother's coughing.
2) What can I say/do to make her or them understand that I want peace in my own home?
Any/all comments/suggestions welcome.
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