My ex and I have been separated since may 2011, and have shared custody of our 7 year old son, who for a couple years has been on a one-week with me one week with her rotation. She remarried last year to a man from a different country. For the most part he is reasonable and understanding of the co-parenting arrangement but I suspect family of origin issues might be at play, and also he has been quite proactive in being involved with my sons upbringing, which is 100x better than the opposite, though I feel he has on a couple occasions overstepped bounds somewhat (more because my ex hasn't been authoritative enough in regards to the rules of their household). Also of note, my ex is pregnant and expecting with his baby at the end of the month, so his parental/hormonal instincts might be kicking in.
Yesterday was transition day and last night being Halloween, I took him out trick or treating and then to some friends with kids whom he is friends with for a little party. I dropped him off at his mom's home after, as she requested since it was quite late (shortly before 10pm which is quite a bit later his normal bedtime). He is now with her for the rest of the week.
Tonight I received a lengthy text from my ex's new H, in which he stated that my son was acting very disobedient, and saying all kind of things that weren't true about the rules at my house (such as that he's allowed to play video games all day, had no bedtime etc). Obviously these are not true but I'm trying to figure out what the point of the text was. Not sure if he is accusing me of setting poor boundaries, or if he is trying to extend his household rules onto mine.
I'm a little p1ssed off ATM, just had a very tough week with my son constantly testing me and trying to push boundaries. I figure it is normal stuff for many seven year olds, but it still takes an emotional toll. My son has also been struggling at school with focus, socializing and acknowledging the rules, since kindergarten we've been trying to get him an official diagnosis from autism services so that we can get extra resources for the classroom and an occupational therapist to try figuring out some better coping skills. And now I'm receiving flack from him because they too are having it tough managing?!
This isn't the first text exchange I've had with him and I'm not sure how I want to respond to him, if at all. On one hand I agree that some consistency is beneficial for my son, on the other I want to tell him to F off, I don't interfere with the rules of their household and I am not going to allow them to dictate mine. Our rules will not be the same, nor the environment, but they are also not drastically different, except for the way the step dad figures he can control how my son behaves. I also should not have to defend myself from the ravings of a manipulative seven year old.
His text doesn't even explicitly request or demand anything of me, seems like it was more for documentation, so of course a part of me is considering the legal aspects of this situation.
Any suggestions on how someone else would proceed? Should I even reply? Anything I should be wary of?
Yesterday was transition day and last night being Halloween, I took him out trick or treating and then to some friends with kids whom he is friends with for a little party. I dropped him off at his mom's home after, as she requested since it was quite late (shortly before 10pm which is quite a bit later his normal bedtime). He is now with her for the rest of the week.
Tonight I received a lengthy text from my ex's new H, in which he stated that my son was acting very disobedient, and saying all kind of things that weren't true about the rules at my house (such as that he's allowed to play video games all day, had no bedtime etc). Obviously these are not true but I'm trying to figure out what the point of the text was. Not sure if he is accusing me of setting poor boundaries, or if he is trying to extend his household rules onto mine.
I'm a little p1ssed off ATM, just had a very tough week with my son constantly testing me and trying to push boundaries. I figure it is normal stuff for many seven year olds, but it still takes an emotional toll. My son has also been struggling at school with focus, socializing and acknowledging the rules, since kindergarten we've been trying to get him an official diagnosis from autism services so that we can get extra resources for the classroom and an occupational therapist to try figuring out some better coping skills. And now I'm receiving flack from him because they too are having it tough managing?!
This isn't the first text exchange I've had with him and I'm not sure how I want to respond to him, if at all. On one hand I agree that some consistency is beneficial for my son, on the other I want to tell him to F off, I don't interfere with the rules of their household and I am not going to allow them to dictate mine. Our rules will not be the same, nor the environment, but they are also not drastically different, except for the way the step dad figures he can control how my son behaves. I also should not have to defend myself from the ravings of a manipulative seven year old.
His text doesn't even explicitly request or demand anything of me, seems like it was more for documentation, so of course a part of me is considering the legal aspects of this situation.
Any suggestions on how someone else would proceed? Should I even reply? Anything I should be wary of?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment