I thought I had it mostly under control.
I have had to travel for business for the past 3 months however, and have only been home for about 8 days. While alone on the road, going through the financial and relational strain this traveling is doing to me, I started caving to my old addiction.
I have told Mrs. Conan and we are trying to communicate about it and work through her hurt and my disgust.
What I would like to know is are there any good books on breaking this or any sex addiction.
Background: I do not enjoy watching porn. It makes me feel disgusting and degraded. I watch hardcore porn that is not romantic at all, just raunchy degrading sex.
I was severely sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused as a child. This addiction started there.
It almost feels to me like if a girl is horribly abused as a child, she might become promiscuous and let herself be used even though it does not make her feel any better but like she can't help it.
I am going to seek counseling as soon as opportunity allows.
I feel sick and disgusting before and after I view porn. It is some kind of mental/emotional trigger that is very hard for me to resist.
Anyway. I would really appreciate if anyone had some good book suggestions. Maybe I need one on PTSD of sexual abuse as this seems to stem from my childhood.
Thanks in advance for your help and advice.
I have had to travel for business for the past 3 months however, and have only been home for about 8 days. While alone on the road, going through the financial and relational strain this traveling is doing to me, I started caving to my old addiction.
I have told Mrs. Conan and we are trying to communicate about it and work through her hurt and my disgust.
What I would like to know is are there any good books on breaking this or any sex addiction.
Background: I do not enjoy watching porn. It makes me feel disgusting and degraded. I watch hardcore porn that is not romantic at all, just raunchy degrading sex.
I was severely sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused as a child. This addiction started there.
It almost feels to me like if a girl is horribly abused as a child, she might become promiscuous and let herself be used even though it does not make her feel any better but like she can't help it.
I am going to seek counseling as soon as opportunity allows.
I feel sick and disgusting before and after I view porn. It is some kind of mental/emotional trigger that is very hard for me to resist.
Anyway. I would really appreciate if anyone had some good book suggestions. Maybe I need one on PTSD of sexual abuse as this seems to stem from my childhood.
Thanks in advance for your help and advice.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment