My husband and I have had many issues that I've posted about in the past, but by far the worst is his emotional affair with his high school girlfriend. First of all, he denies he's in an emotional affair. He says they're "just friends", but over the years the relationship has proven to be much more than that. In the first year of our marriage, I discovered a sexually explicit email he wrote to her, describing in great detail all the acts he wanted to perform with her. When I confronted him about it, he claimed that it was just a joke, and that everyone from his hometown has the same "racy" sense of humor. I explained that I wasn't comfortable with it, and he said it would stop. Everything seemed fairly good for several years, then in the seventh year of our marriage, his behavior seemed off somehow. I noticed a flash drive in a cup holder in his car, and when I opened the file, I found a topless photo of his high school girlfriend. We went to counseling over that, and things improved, or so I thought. About 2 months before our tenth anniversary, I started to get that funny feeling again. I downloaded a text messaging monitoring app to his cell phone, and discovered that he is texting her daily. He's still saying sexually explicit things, and asking for more nude photos. Back when I found the picture three years ago, he told me they weren't having any physical contact whatsoever, just email. The texts I'm seeing now have referenced times they have gone places together, and hint at sexual contact. I am devastated, and I don't know what to do. He has no idea that I know about the text messages, and I just don't know how to deal with this again. I think it may be time to leave the marriage, but I have nowhere to go. We are ten years into a thirty year mortgage, I work full time, but there's no way I could afford our house on my own. I am an only child, and my parents are deceased. I have no close family, and my friends are pretty much in the same financial straits. We've had a lot of monetary setbacks, and my credit is not good. I don't know that I could get an apartment on my own. Our ten year anniversary was four days ago, and I've been keeping up the pretense that nothing is wrong, but it's getting harder and harder to cope. I plan to print out the texts and confront him, but what could the outcome be, other than us splitting up? I don't see how we could ever reconcile. What reason would I have to ever believe anything he says? But if we split up, where do I go?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment