Bear with me this is a bit long. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and I knew for a year before we started dating. She has always struggled with depression but her downs have become more frequent these days. What usually happens when she is in her extreme lows is she shuts me completely out, and doesn't let me help her or just be around her because she doesn't want me to see her at her worst. I love her more than anyone else and it hurts when she keeps doing that to 'protect me'. It ****s with my head and messes me up because it makes me think that I mean nothing to her. She never wants to talk to me about what is bothering her and I am never allowed to help her. I know fully well that it won't magically cure her depression if she does these things but it will at least make her feel better for a bit and won't make me feel completely useless. I have to walk on eggshells all the time and be e xtremely patient and not voice any of my complaints because it'll make her feel ****tier and I love her too much to whine. But it's all getting a bit draining.
There was a time when we had a very healthy relationship and she is a really amazing person when she's not like this - I'm not implying that her depressed self is not her 'real' self but that the 'good' part of herself was more dominant when we started dating. I'm not sure if I can take the difficult road to recovery with her. I mean she won't even see a therapist. I honestly don't know what to do and I feel like she keeps dragging me down with her because I have so much invested in this relationship. I always feel lonely nowadays and I am starting to think of just leaving her before it gets any worse. But my strong feelings can't be denied, I love this girl and I want to make it work but I'm not getting anything out of our relationship but heartbreak and sadness these days. I don't know what to do. Do I give up and leave her knowing that I will feel guilty and dickish and struggle to get her out of my head for the rest of my life probably and how do I do this with as little damage to her as possible? Or do I stay with her in hopes that it gets better and continue to feel like **** and unloved for possibly a very long time?
Put the internet to work for you.
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