I don't know how... I tried to focus on his good side and forgive his emotional and physical abuse in our past.
But I feel stuck. Maybe I want too much of him. He is so negative for last year or two. He complains about his boss, friends and things in general. When he sees me happy, just singing or acting goofy, he doesn't smile, just stares at me as if I was crazy. I know I changed. I feel happier and I can laugh at my own silly things or when I mess up something. If he messes something - he swears and gets angry.
We fight almost everyday. It's all about different values and opinions. When I complain about him, he turns it back at me and blames me for everything. He always did that.
I am no longer attracted to him. I see him everyday sitting on sofa in his speedos and Santa's belly only. I am no VS model but I am not half naked most of the day.
When he eats, he shovels everything in short moments as if there was someone stealing his food. I can't stand the sound he makes and have to leave the room or I would scream. I can't even watch him. I tried to deal with it, but it didn't work.
We don't kiss anymore. He was really bad about dental hygiene. Now he falls asleep before he can wash his teeth and that's his excuse.
We also have double standard. When I put my head on his belly and he realesed gas, that was fine. When I did that with him next to me in bed, he punched my hip with his first. Just because it made him angry. He apologized later on.
We did Mc together. He helps with chores more but doesn't really like it. He can't understand why I want him to fold his own laundry or unload dishwasher . He takes that as female job.
I bake, I cook and clean more than before but nothing seems to be enough. Just like the other day when I made a cake, he asked if I can do apple cake as well. As if what I made already was not good enough for him. I said no.
I feel taken for granted. I feel lonely and so ambivalent in this relationship. The only thing I look forward with my husband is when we are in bed and he caresses my back and I do his. But at the same time, I feel like little puppy who chases him for some attention while he browses Internet.
I support him and take care when he feels bad. But since I started a college, he won't ask about it. He looks more jealous than proud of me. That makes me sad.
I know he is a good man, hard working but his negative side is damaging me. I told him that before and he gives most of the blame to me. We hardly smile at each other. There is no fun, no peace, no comfort and I miss that. I miss passion and understanding as well.
I want to fall in love with him again, I just don't know how anymore.
Posted via Mobile Device
But I feel stuck. Maybe I want too much of him. He is so negative for last year or two. He complains about his boss, friends and things in general. When he sees me happy, just singing or acting goofy, he doesn't smile, just stares at me as if I was crazy. I know I changed. I feel happier and I can laugh at my own silly things or when I mess up something. If he messes something - he swears and gets angry.
We fight almost everyday. It's all about different values and opinions. When I complain about him, he turns it back at me and blames me for everything. He always did that.
I am no longer attracted to him. I see him everyday sitting on sofa in his speedos and Santa's belly only. I am no VS model but I am not half naked most of the day.
When he eats, he shovels everything in short moments as if there was someone stealing his food. I can't stand the sound he makes and have to leave the room or I would scream. I can't even watch him. I tried to deal with it, but it didn't work.
We don't kiss anymore. He was really bad about dental hygiene. Now he falls asleep before he can wash his teeth and that's his excuse.
We also have double standard. When I put my head on his belly and he realesed gas, that was fine. When I did that with him next to me in bed, he punched my hip with his first. Just because it made him angry. He apologized later on.
We did Mc together. He helps with chores more but doesn't really like it. He can't understand why I want him to fold his own laundry or unload dishwasher . He takes that as female job.
I bake, I cook and clean more than before but nothing seems to be enough. Just like the other day when I made a cake, he asked if I can do apple cake as well. As if what I made already was not good enough for him. I said no.
I feel taken for granted. I feel lonely and so ambivalent in this relationship. The only thing I look forward with my husband is when we are in bed and he caresses my back and I do his. But at the same time, I feel like little puppy who chases him for some attention while he browses Internet.
I support him and take care when he feels bad. But since I started a college, he won't ask about it. He looks more jealous than proud of me. That makes me sad.
I know he is a good man, hard working but his negative side is damaging me. I told him that before and he gives most of the blame to me. We hardly smile at each other. There is no fun, no peace, no comfort and I miss that. I miss passion and understanding as well.
I want to fall in love with him again, I just don't know how anymore.
Posted via Mobile Device
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