Hallo. I'm new here and have lurked around a bit. Please bear with me and would be glad for some advice. Thank you.
Married for 4 years. Husband is a wonderful man in all aspects and loves me.
Now for the problem. I have always been "childfree" in my views. I have communicated this well before marriage and hubby was in agreement with it. Its 4 years down the road and a lot of pressure and questions from his traditional parents and relatives are pouring in. He asked me for an opinion and I still told him I did not want children. He started becoming moody I noticed and kept repeatedly pointing out that motherhood is one of the gifts of a woman. Again, I stress he isn't asking me to do anything against my feelings or of the sort.
In a moment of weakness and severe stress I agreed and got pregnant. I hated every moment of it and underwent an abortion. Simple reason- if a child is unwanted by its own mother then that is I think the worst reason to give birth.
He again kept asking me for opinions down the line repeatedly and I told him in anger once that I had told him prior to getting married I would not on any condition have children.
He now latches onto that word and keeps saying I do not know what love is, I'm running away from my responsibilities and that he never expected me to place conditions and bonds before him. We have to take life as it comes. He says that I'm worse than a prostitute. He keeps having sex with me but he refuses to "e******te". I do not know what this is and sex has become something I am beginning to detest. He says that I am not keeping up a "husband-wife" relationship because I have no idea what that means. So we are just living as "friends" "f***k buddies".
I feel terrible in this situation. He isn't unkind to me and every other aspect of life is peaceful. It's unbelievable but we actually laugh, have good times, work well together except for this one issue.
I love him a lot and support him in each endeavour of life which I'm not mentioning. Trust me, I really do.
Do I really not know what love is? I feel very sad looking at him like this. I don't really know whose fault this is. I have been so clear but its also true that we cannot predict everything in life.
So I told him, I would have a child and I would find it in my heart somewhere to be a good mother. I know I can do that. But he refuses saying that I've broken his heart by behaving in such an uncouth manner. He cannot dream of doing anything with me. I know he loves me because he doesn't want to make me suffer either by forcing me into something I do not want. I have talked about ending the relationship but he doesn't want that either.
Either way I find myself at the crossroads. I do not want him to suffer, neither do I want to suffer . Is it still worth salvaging this thing we have? Hearing how terrible I am for maybe 4 days in a week and the rest of the time being hunky dory?
Married for 4 years. Husband is a wonderful man in all aspects and loves me.
Now for the problem. I have always been "childfree" in my views. I have communicated this well before marriage and hubby was in agreement with it. Its 4 years down the road and a lot of pressure and questions from his traditional parents and relatives are pouring in. He asked me for an opinion and I still told him I did not want children. He started becoming moody I noticed and kept repeatedly pointing out that motherhood is one of the gifts of a woman. Again, I stress he isn't asking me to do anything against my feelings or of the sort.
In a moment of weakness and severe stress I agreed and got pregnant. I hated every moment of it and underwent an abortion. Simple reason- if a child is unwanted by its own mother then that is I think the worst reason to give birth.
He again kept asking me for opinions down the line repeatedly and I told him in anger once that I had told him prior to getting married I would not on any condition have children.
He now latches onto that word and keeps saying I do not know what love is, I'm running away from my responsibilities and that he never expected me to place conditions and bonds before him. We have to take life as it comes. He says that I'm worse than a prostitute. He keeps having sex with me but he refuses to "e******te". I do not know what this is and sex has become something I am beginning to detest. He says that I am not keeping up a "husband-wife" relationship because I have no idea what that means. So we are just living as "friends" "f***k buddies".
I feel terrible in this situation. He isn't unkind to me and every other aspect of life is peaceful. It's unbelievable but we actually laugh, have good times, work well together except for this one issue.
I love him a lot and support him in each endeavour of life which I'm not mentioning. Trust me, I really do.
Do I really not know what love is? I feel very sad looking at him like this. I don't really know whose fault this is. I have been so clear but its also true that we cannot predict everything in life.
So I told him, I would have a child and I would find it in my heart somewhere to be a good mother. I know I can do that. But he refuses saying that I've broken his heart by behaving in such an uncouth manner. He cannot dream of doing anything with me. I know he loves me because he doesn't want to make me suffer either by forcing me into something I do not want. I have talked about ending the relationship but he doesn't want that either.
Either way I find myself at the crossroads. I do not want him to suffer, neither do I want to suffer . Is it still worth salvaging this thing we have? Hearing how terrible I am for maybe 4 days in a week and the rest of the time being hunky dory?
Put the internet to work for you.
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