What have I done...

So I did something I thought I would never do. I signed up to ****** *******.com (A.M Looks like it blurts it out). I guess I know why I did it, but now that I have done it, I don't know why. H and I have been married just over 3 years, been together around 5. Things have not been great. Our sex life is pretty well dead (maybe once a month) and I just don't feel connected to him. So I made an account and started talking to a married man. We talked back and forth for only around a week and met on Wed. We just met at the beach and had coffee, nothing happened but lots of talking. Him and I text each other pretty much all day for the next few days and agreed to meet for lunch on Sat. We had a great time at lunch chatting and getting to know each other. Then once again we got coffee and sat in his car and talked for a few hours. He told me he found me very attractive and wanted to kiss me, I told him no, that I wasn't ready. Sat night, we went out to the movies, he did kiss me on the cheek and now I just feel ill thinking about it. This man and I got along very well and had a lot in common when it came to our marriages, but that's about it. I am not attracted to him and do not want anything from him.

Now I just feel terrible. I look at H and just want to cry. I always said I would never have an affair and I now feel like I did. I just don't know what to do. H has no idea about any of this, he thinks I went out with some girls from work, so yeah, of course I lied to him which I have never done before. So what now? I cried myself to sleep last night beside H and he didn't even know it. I feel sickened and terrible. What now?

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979