I'm a stepmum to my husbands 9 year old daughter. I met her when she was 6 and apart from her being worried that I would take her daddy away at the very beginning, things have gone very smoothly for the 3 of us :) Her and I soon became firm friends and we love each other very much. For the most part I get along well with her mum too. I was not the reason the marriage ended...I came on the scene well and truly after that was done and dusted.
She was beyond excited when we asked her how she'd feel if I moved in with them and when we told her "daddy has asked me to marry him, how do you feel about that?" she had a Tom Cruise moment leaping on the couch screaming excitedly, lol. She was in our wedding, in my vows and cut the wedding with us.
It's got me thinking...I play a very large role in her life. I pick her up from school 3 days a week and spend time with her doing all the things her mum does - we go clothes shopping, I do her hair sometimes, I care for her when she's sick, sit up through the night with her, comfort her when she's had a bad dream, get excited for her and burst with pride at her school concerts and other events as well...
I'm very much aware that there is a line that you don't cross as a step parent - there are some things that only a mum should do, ie ear piercings, first bra shop, facials etc. things like that. I'm not trying to replace her mum and as I said her mum and I get along well. She even welcomed me at a mothers day morning tea the school put on, the little person wanted me there, and we sat together, as we did just last week at a school concert.
I love this child so much, and yet I'm "just the stepmum". I sometimes worry that if something ever happened to my darling husband that I'd lose this precious child - I have no rights whatsoever :( It breaks my heart to think of that happening but I can't help it.
How do I just enjoy our happy family and not worry about "what if". I think this has come up because we're in the process of redoing our wills, coming on top of my young dad passing away last year (he was only 63)...it does make you think.
Any other stepparents worry about this stuff?
She was beyond excited when we asked her how she'd feel if I moved in with them and when we told her "daddy has asked me to marry him, how do you feel about that?" she had a Tom Cruise moment leaping on the couch screaming excitedly, lol. She was in our wedding, in my vows and cut the wedding with us.
It's got me thinking...I play a very large role in her life. I pick her up from school 3 days a week and spend time with her doing all the things her mum does - we go clothes shopping, I do her hair sometimes, I care for her when she's sick, sit up through the night with her, comfort her when she's had a bad dream, get excited for her and burst with pride at her school concerts and other events as well...
I'm very much aware that there is a line that you don't cross as a step parent - there are some things that only a mum should do, ie ear piercings, first bra shop, facials etc. things like that. I'm not trying to replace her mum and as I said her mum and I get along well. She even welcomed me at a mothers day morning tea the school put on, the little person wanted me there, and we sat together, as we did just last week at a school concert.
I love this child so much, and yet I'm "just the stepmum". I sometimes worry that if something ever happened to my darling husband that I'd lose this precious child - I have no rights whatsoever :( It breaks my heart to think of that happening but I can't help it.
How do I just enjoy our happy family and not worry about "what if". I think this has come up because we're in the process of redoing our wills, coming on top of my young dad passing away last year (he was only 63)...it does make you think.
Any other stepparents worry about this stuff?
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