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Foo's Five Fundamentals: Tips for GIRLS ~ Handling Dating/Early Stage Relationships

Following on from my equivalent thread for GUYS..

..here are my top 5 Do's and Don'ts (basic rules of thumb) when it comes to dating/early stage relationships - primarily aimed at young women:


1) Select appealing men ~ For longevity, and fairness on the guy, only agree to dates with guys you genuinely want to date, and ideally find rather attractive

2) Make an effort to look nice ~ Sensible, moderate use of makeup, hair, nails (not porn star talons), plus respectable, if flattering, attire *

3) Present yourself in your 'best self' ~ This includes 'ladylike' behaviour,** plus independence and strength of character from the outset ***

4) Be passionate ~ Relax and try to ignore/let go any PDA issues. Have sex when you are comfortable and want it, but be wary of perceptions re: 1st date

5) Be considerate ~ If you sense you are dominating, or that your date is nervous, don't just carry on and expect him to fix the situation, it takes two to tango

* Don't overdo makeup or under do flesh coverage, equally don't turn up looking like you just threw on a cardi if you suspect the guy is going to make an effort – even if the date goes well how you present yourself may influence what he assumes about you e.g. 'casual' attitude/bit slutty

** This means demonstrating excellent decorum, grace and charming femininity (careful not to confuse this with acting particularly ignorant, unintelligent or submissive). Few guys want a girl who is masculine or LADish, and fewer still will make much of an effort when it comes to dating if they think of you more as a friend/one of the guys than as a lady worthy of being revered/cherished, wined and dined etc

*** Young/unwise/selfish men 'treat people as they find them', and a sea change later on in a relationship invariably meets with friction/break up. Best to send strong signals from the outset that make it implicitly clear that a guy would be foolish to attempt any funny business

1) Never be too blokey ~ A little sarcastic wit/'banter' is perfectly fine but always try to keep it light and slightly coy/flirtatious

2) Never give the impression that the other person is of higher 'value' ~ See above re: men 'treating you as they find you'

3) Never do the # dates rule ~ Arbitrary 'number of dates before we have nookie' makes you look infantile, just listen to instinct/go with what's comfortable

4) Never talking about ex's ~ Really one shouldn't talk about ex's at all in the early stages of dating but if they do come up try to keep it brief

5) Never abuse the words 'love' or 'hate' ~ This turns things into a game and makes you look childish; also risks making someone feel too comfortable

Note that absolute adherence is NOT necessary to thrive and survive in relationships, however if you stray to far you may well run into difficulty

Please note this is general, subjective advice - based on a fair bit of personal experience plus fairly elemental pop-behavioural psychology

I post these in the hope that fewer girls will wind up coming on here moping about how they've had crap dates/been taken for granted/used/abused by men

Hopefully the threads in this series will provide (particularly the least experienced) readers with a fair few ideas on how best to approach dating :)


ED: I welcome discussion, feedback, constructive criticism and extra thoughts/ideas :borat:

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