Scared to hurt her.

I guess i will just go right into it...Most of what i read revolves around arguing, abuse, lack of sex, cheating, etc... My situation falls into none of that, So here goes. I have been married for 7 years, My wife is an amazing woman, very sweet, loyal, kind, loving, caring, none of the typical lack of sex drive etc...She is a college grad, good job, smart, driven, etc... I mean she is a complete catch, just a pure amazing woman. Just to get it out of the way now, I am not a cheater or any of the other typical stories i have read so far. I dont resent my wife for anything, I dont think she never wants sex (she wants it all the time) or whatever other reasons i have read. The problem is 110% with me, And i think the easiest way to explain it is that i just dont feel like i Love her in the way that she deserves or in the way that should exist in a good marriage. I love her and care about her to no end, but i just dont feel any of that passion or excitment to be part of a couple with her. Its not something that was there and has fizzled, I just dont think it was really ever all there on my end. And this makes me feel like the biggest jerk alive, and so ill answer the question of "why did you even get married" And/or "Why have you let it go on this long" So we were very young and dated and things were good, we had a break up for a few months initiated by her and was followed by no contact between us until one day i get an email from her, we meet, hang out and before i can blink i am dating her again. From there things start going fast, faster than i liked but i figured i was just being wierd and so i went with it. She was having problems at home, living on the couch of her mother and step-dads trailer, was dealing with a then strange health problem which we later got her surgery for, working 2 jobs trying to pay for school, etc....This all kinda led to us moving in together and before i could blink again, we are married. This girl was head over heals about me, and i really did care about her lots, but i think i also just felt a need to take care of her, help her out of a bad situation and the fact that she was so inlove with me made me feel kinda guilty and i just stayed. Probably entirely too young, and with reservations about the whole thing in my head but again, I chalked it up to me being wierd. To explain my being wierd...I had a lot of issues in regards to combat in Iraq at the time and also from being cheated on by a GF during my first trip to Iraq. I just figured the reservations in my mind were due to this since my now wife was such a great girl. I figured if i just stuck around i would develop all the feelings i should have and things would get better. So 7 years later...Everytime i think about leaving, I think about how hurt she would be and it literaly breaks my heart to think of her that way. She is just soooo in love, and almost like magic, when i am thinking this way, she will tell me all these things about how lost she would be if she lost me, etc..etc..She wants so bad for this passion that i almost have to fake, she wants to make love all the time, kiss, be romantic...All things that I love, but just dont feel with her for some reason. She is a very very trusting girl, very nieve...It would be soo easy for some jerk to come along, and just treat her like garbage and that thought tears me up too. Just leaving her, hurting her, the thought of her meeting someone who does her wrong, it all painfuly breaks my heart to even think it. But yet, I just dont really feel as though i want to be the guy that is married to her. I have caught myself thinking "what if she meets some amazing guy who would be this amazing husband and she wants to leave me for him" I would probably be relieved and happy if she just fell out of love with me, met some great guy who did right by her and she never really got crushed or hurt. I know thats not reality, I know its not at all what a husband should think, but its true. I often think that the only thing keeping me around is fear of the above mentioned. Hurting her, letting her down, etc... I love her and care about her beyond words, but i dont think its in the right context. I want her to be happy, loved, joyful, taken care off, etc...I just dont know if i want to be the guy who does that. I dont even know if what i just wrote makes a bit of sense, I dont want to proof read or edit as i just kinda let out as up until now, this has only been thoughts in my head and i wanted to write it out as i felt it. Any words would be appreciated, kind hopefuly, but i get its the internet and i probably dont deserve it.

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