I feel I have a unique situation and look forward to some insight. Just to give a bit of background, I have Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disease and 9 years ago I had a double lung transplant which was rough for both my husband and me. We have been married 25 years and he came into this marriage with no secrets about how hard the life would be with hospitalizations etc. It was not pretty at times though we kept laughter and love all along. Now my health is tip top, I'm 53 as is my husband.
After all this and a hysterectomy to boot, my husband stopped being interested in me. Come to find out, he has PTSD from all the traumatic experiences. Neither one of us knew anything about this disorder, but now we are getting help. The thing is that 9 months ago, and still continuing today, he is having sex with a younger gal. He says he can't have sex with me because just being intimate with me triggers his PTSD. We have a second residence we own about 20 minutes away, and he let's her live there paying no rent, but some utilities. He bought a car for her to use, but it's in his name, and he will take her on trips etc.
This is his scene. He says he needs the control of that situation. He does not spend a lot of time there, but has to "put in time" so she feels wanted. He told her he would never say he loves her etc. and that he will never leave his wife (me) and this gal still stays. She is a victim from what I know of her past.
I don't like it at all. I won't tell him I approve of the situation even though he says it saved him from suicide. I love this man and want to stay with him as I know he does with me, but I feel traumatized now and like I'm going out of my mind. I am so in pain and sad and can cry at the drop of a hat. I feel like I'm PTSD now because I get so focused on what they might be doing. My imagination goes wild. I can't talk to anyone except my therapist because no one understands that you don't have to go to war to have PTSD. We also see her together. Does anyone have any suggestions on coping with his PTSD by being supportive without screwing myself up in the process? He's helped me through so much, but it's hard to remember that stuff when my heart is ripped to shreds.
After all this and a hysterectomy to boot, my husband stopped being interested in me. Come to find out, he has PTSD from all the traumatic experiences. Neither one of us knew anything about this disorder, but now we are getting help. The thing is that 9 months ago, and still continuing today, he is having sex with a younger gal. He says he can't have sex with me because just being intimate with me triggers his PTSD. We have a second residence we own about 20 minutes away, and he let's her live there paying no rent, but some utilities. He bought a car for her to use, but it's in his name, and he will take her on trips etc.
This is his scene. He says he needs the control of that situation. He does not spend a lot of time there, but has to "put in time" so she feels wanted. He told her he would never say he loves her etc. and that he will never leave his wife (me) and this gal still stays. She is a victim from what I know of her past.
I don't like it at all. I won't tell him I approve of the situation even though he says it saved him from suicide. I love this man and want to stay with him as I know he does with me, but I feel traumatized now and like I'm going out of my mind. I am so in pain and sad and can cry at the drop of a hat. I feel like I'm PTSD now because I get so focused on what they might be doing. My imagination goes wild. I can't talk to anyone except my therapist because no one understands that you don't have to go to war to have PTSD. We also see her together. Does anyone have any suggestions on coping with his PTSD by being supportive without screwing myself up in the process? He's helped me through so much, but it's hard to remember that stuff when my heart is ripped to shreds.
Put the internet to work for you.
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