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Glad to see im not alone

Hi everyone! Just found this forum today and it is nice to see im not alone. Im hoping to gain some insight into my marriage problems and hope I might be able to help some of you with yours.

Me and him have been together for 9 years, married for 4.5 we also have 2 kids together.

Im here because I find it extremely difficult to bring these issues up with my husband. He isn't a "feelings" kind of guy. There is no romance. I feel like a roommate. He does not seem to desire me anymore :(

every 6 months or so I have a melt down because I just cant bottle it up any more. We hash things out and he reassures me that he loves me. He tries a little harder to show me affection for a few days and then back to the same old.

Recently I decided to check his browser history for some good reads while I sipped my coffee (he is a news junkie) and I found a few pics of naked girls. This was a total shocker because he always tells me how disgusted he is with that kind of stuff. He also frequents a conspiracy forum and the thread titles he clicks on half the time don't even have to do with what the site is about. There was a woman with a sexy picture who posted a thread about "oh im drinking a lot right now because im so alone" he replies to her with "what you drinkin"

I know I may be over reacting and snooping is not good, I should trust him.. but the more I snoop.. the more I feel like I don't even know him. Im afraid he is just putting up with me because of the kids. he is constantly on the computer 'checking out the news' and I cant shake this feeling that he is hiding something.

I did some research on insecurity yesterday and it seems I have "anxious attachment". Thinking about getting some councelling. I feel so worthless, my own husband dosent want to be close with me. I want to cry constantly!!!

What can I do when I want closeness and he never does?? is this normal in a marriage? he blames his lack of libido on his age (42). While I feel at my prime. I need to feel wanted, even lusted after sometimes.

anyways im rambling now.. thanks for taking the time to read this. Id really appreciate any feedback. :)

IFTTT

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