So, I've had feelings for a guy for about 18 months now. He is one of my friends in my friendship circle I guess, my friends are all friends with him etc, along with a few more guys. I never told him because I didn't feel that I wanted to be in a relationship, however I told a couple of my closest friends and we had chats about boys, as you do. Fast forward to about 2 months ago. One of these friends told me that she now likes the same guy. She said she felt really guilty, and she was trying to get over it but was struggling. I reassured her it was okay, and it genuinely was okay that she was having these feelings, nobody can help it after all.
However I found myself feeling jealous that she was spending time with him when I knew she was attracted to him; they were always chatting and laughing, and I knew they talked on Facebook. My friend said that there was nothing going on, and I really do think that she was just oblivious. I however couldn't help but think that if he wasn't already attracted to her, surely those feelings would develop when they were spending so much time together. I felt guilty for feeling jealous, after all, I had had the opportunity to tell him how I'd felt and I had no claim over him. As well as that, she's my friend and I love her and care about her.
Unsurprisingly, after a couple of months of this, the guy told her that he likes her. All this time my friend had been telling me how sorry she was for liking him, and I believed her, and still do. However she was told by another friend that he is planning on asking her out. She says she'll say no because she doesn't want to hurt me, but I don't know what to do. On one hand, I don't want them to be in a relationship because I am really attracted to him and I would feel that I couldn't have these feelings for her boyfriend. On the other hand, I want her to go for it because they both like each other and it would be really unfair of me to make her feel that she has to say no. It's not my decision to make; I would feel terrible that she had missed an opportunity because of me. At the same time it would make me feel hurt and like I couldn't talk to her about it anymore.
I have no intention of losing my friendship or being angry with her, as I care far more about her than any feelings I might have for a guy, but I need some advice as to what I should do. I know she feels guilty, and I feel guilty too. In a way, I want to stop having these feelings for him and to leave them to it, but I don't know how. Please help!
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