I don't have anyone to talk to about this and it's killing me.
Let me start from the beginning. My wife was a cam girl when I met her. She would do live sex shows on her computer. I saw her and got a show. During that show, she expressed interest in me and after telling her where I was from, she confessed that she was not far from me and wanted to meet me. After that show, we exchanged phone numbers and spoke on the phone for a while. Then we met and hit it off. Despite us being very different, we felt a connection. That was 4 years ago. We've now been married for 2 years. It hasn't been smooth though. She doesn't cam anymore but occasionally makes money talking to "old regulars". Even though I'm not a fan of it, I allow it (I'm enabling, I know). I feel as though she's addicted to sex. She needs it all the time. Whether it be from me or the virtual version she gets from her regulars. I know she masturbates a lot and rarely turns me away if I happen to be in the mood. In addition to that, shes into more than just your garde n variety sexual activities. She's really into BDSM while I am not. I believe she satisfies those craving with her regulars as well.
With all those problems aside, the reason why I'm writing this is because I came across something that I shouldn't have seen. She usually talks to these guys on Viber, a messaging app on her phone. She talks to them throughout the day; at work, at home while watching TV with me or even in bed before we go to sleep. We recently bought her a new laptop because her old one was old. A MacBook Air that she purchased with money she had received from these guys. We both use the laptop but I use it sparingly. The Viber app is also installed on the laptop. One evening while she was out, I opened the laptop to set my fantasy football lineup (you don't have to say it) when I noticed that the app was open and a new message popped up. Everything in me told me not to look, that I'm invading her space but I did anyway and I wish I hadn't.
A few more facts before I get to the point. She works as a social worker helping emotionally and physically abused children. She's a very caring person and the rest of personality lends itself to be able to do that kind of work. Once every three blue moons, she goes out of town to visit clients (one of the kids) that might have been placed in a home farther away than normal. She usually goes on these trips with a co-worker. She just recently returned from a trip to Ohio. It seemed like a easy trip. She told me stories and showed me pictures of her and her co-worker, whom I know. Two weeks ago, she told me that she would need to take another trip soon. This time to NY. A one day trip. I thought it was weird that the agency would keep cases that were so far away. At dinner one night, her co-worker confirmed that it doesn't happen often but it does happen.
In the messages app on her laptop, I found a long conversation with one of her regulars. From the conversation, the regular is also married. They use initials for the names of other people instead of their whole names. The engage in long sexual conversations that include exchanging nude photos and videos and watching online porn together. They also speak like long-time friends and confide in each other. Even talking about the problems their having with their significant others. And now the reason for this long post (as if you haven't figured it out already). They planned out a way for her to meet him in NY. Going so far as to use her job and her co-worker/friend to make me believe that she's going there for work. Part of me feels as though she's doing this not specifically to cheat on me because she's not getting what she wants at home but because she's doing it for money (not that it makes it any better).
So I'm faced with how I should deal with this. Should I confront her before she's supposed to leave? Or should I let her go and confront her when she returns. The reason for that is to see if she'll actually go through with it. See if she can truly look me in the eye and bold-faced lie to me. Then, when I confront her, do I tell her that I had been secretly looking at her conversation or find a way to catch her in a lie without disclosing that?
I know this a lot and I know that there are more problems than you can shake a stick at other than the dilemma I'm dealing with but I decided to do this mainly because I needed to get it off my chest. I needed to tell someone before I made a decision. I found all this out this past Monday and she leaves for NY this coming Thursday. This sucks and I don't know what to do.
:(
Let me start from the beginning. My wife was a cam girl when I met her. She would do live sex shows on her computer. I saw her and got a show. During that show, she expressed interest in me and after telling her where I was from, she confessed that she was not far from me and wanted to meet me. After that show, we exchanged phone numbers and spoke on the phone for a while. Then we met and hit it off. Despite us being very different, we felt a connection. That was 4 years ago. We've now been married for 2 years. It hasn't been smooth though. She doesn't cam anymore but occasionally makes money talking to "old regulars". Even though I'm not a fan of it, I allow it (I'm enabling, I know). I feel as though she's addicted to sex. She needs it all the time. Whether it be from me or the virtual version she gets from her regulars. I know she masturbates a lot and rarely turns me away if I happen to be in the mood. In addition to that, shes into more than just your garde n variety sexual activities. She's really into BDSM while I am not. I believe she satisfies those craving with her regulars as well.
With all those problems aside, the reason why I'm writing this is because I came across something that I shouldn't have seen. She usually talks to these guys on Viber, a messaging app on her phone. She talks to them throughout the day; at work, at home while watching TV with me or even in bed before we go to sleep. We recently bought her a new laptop because her old one was old. A MacBook Air that she purchased with money she had received from these guys. We both use the laptop but I use it sparingly. The Viber app is also installed on the laptop. One evening while she was out, I opened the laptop to set my fantasy football lineup (you don't have to say it) when I noticed that the app was open and a new message popped up. Everything in me told me not to look, that I'm invading her space but I did anyway and I wish I hadn't.
A few more facts before I get to the point. She works as a social worker helping emotionally and physically abused children. She's a very caring person and the rest of personality lends itself to be able to do that kind of work. Once every three blue moons, she goes out of town to visit clients (one of the kids) that might have been placed in a home farther away than normal. She usually goes on these trips with a co-worker. She just recently returned from a trip to Ohio. It seemed like a easy trip. She told me stories and showed me pictures of her and her co-worker, whom I know. Two weeks ago, she told me that she would need to take another trip soon. This time to NY. A one day trip. I thought it was weird that the agency would keep cases that were so far away. At dinner one night, her co-worker confirmed that it doesn't happen often but it does happen.
In the messages app on her laptop, I found a long conversation with one of her regulars. From the conversation, the regular is also married. They use initials for the names of other people instead of their whole names. The engage in long sexual conversations that include exchanging nude photos and videos and watching online porn together. They also speak like long-time friends and confide in each other. Even talking about the problems their having with their significant others. And now the reason for this long post (as if you haven't figured it out already). They planned out a way for her to meet him in NY. Going so far as to use her job and her co-worker/friend to make me believe that she's going there for work. Part of me feels as though she's doing this not specifically to cheat on me because she's not getting what she wants at home but because she's doing it for money (not that it makes it any better).
So I'm faced with how I should deal with this. Should I confront her before she's supposed to leave? Or should I let her go and confront her when she returns. The reason for that is to see if she'll actually go through with it. See if she can truly look me in the eye and bold-faced lie to me. Then, when I confront her, do I tell her that I had been secretly looking at her conversation or find a way to catch her in a lie without disclosing that?
I know this a lot and I know that there are more problems than you can shake a stick at other than the dilemma I'm dealing with but I decided to do this mainly because I needed to get it off my chest. I needed to tell someone before I made a decision. I found all this out this past Monday and she leaves for NY this coming Thursday. This sucks and I don't know what to do.
:(
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