Hey everyone, I really need some help here with something to do with someone I used to know.
Well, I knew him for a year and almost 5 months, and during that time, things weren't easy for me, due to my health and my family life, which led to things turning bad for me as well as sounding incredibly unbelievable. He supported me through is, more than anyone I have known and I thanked him for it. The problem started when I lied over something dumb.
I suffer from depression, the worst kind and only now it is getting better and I have only begun to realise the damage I have done. Back in November, I had friends who found out about him and it turned out they were incredibly jealous of me for whatever reason and kept poisoning me as well as convincing me to make a fake account and add his friends to find out what they say about me. One of them told me that "it will work, he won't mind". Eventually I did what she told me and I still regret that.
During that time, they also told me to lie about playing an instrument to him, he wanted to hear me play and I panicked. He began to get really suspicious about me and confronted me about the account as well as this, I didn't know what to do, and I felt so scared of telling him the truth and decided to ask for advice and funnily enough they told me to deny it.
Without going in to much detail about how it ended, it did end extremely bad. I was called a compulsive liar repeatedly by him and it has stuck to me now. My friends didn't help me, and in fact told someone else behind my back that they were happy that I wasn't with this person anymore.
I feel disgusted in myself, I am not a liar and I know that for a fact. I regret listening to the wrong people and I take full responsibility for lying, but I still care deeply about this person and he just doesn't know what to believe of me, what to think about me anymore, let alone talk to me. Many people have tried to tell me to move on, but it still hurts and considering I will be moving to where he lives it would be very difficult for me. Also, I have tried to think with a positive mind that it will get better, for me. But without sounding so pathetic-I feel a part of me is missing now he is gone.
I do need advice, and I do want to speak to him one day. I just don't know how to approach it. I don't know what people would do in my situation, or in his situation. I don't even understand why my friends would do this to me, knowing fully I have clinical depression amongst other things. I just keep beating myself over about this, and I don't want to cry anymore.
Could somebody please help me?
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