My parents lie to me and everyone else for no good reason. They are super-materialistic and they talk too much about money and how to save it. My mother paid little attention to me when I was little. She rarely came to the parental meetings at school and ,despite being the only child, she tired of taking care of me at home and said that I should go outside and play with other kids. She sometimes forced me to go outside.
My father is a very degenerate person. He married three women and introduced me to a lot of his girlfriends. Once he got married he left me and my mom left me too. Non of them agreed to let me live with the (not explicitly) and I had to go to a boarding school. I mean I was't beaten or emotionally abused and they did pay for my private education but I always refused them to be my role models. Now our values are so far apart and to my standards they are the type of people I dislike.
I am a socialist. I value compassion and altruism whereas they are materialistic, selfish, uncaring ****ers who are the very reason why the world sucks so much. I hate lying so much and even when I miss class or hand in my assignments late I just say I overslept or I was in Germany rather than lie about it. And people tell me why didn't you lie? I mean I lie sometimes but about things that are embarrassing or personal and it would be rude of me to say non of your business.
Now I feel there is no one in the world I care of. I feel like I had never had anyone in life who cared for me and now I can't care for anyone. I feel guilty about disliking them but I don't know what I should do. Should I become the same animals as them in order to get on?
Should I find other role models in life?
Should I seek revenge for my childhood?
What should I do? I can't stop thinking about this. I mean there are so many people whose parents are much more terrible people than mine, how do they deal with it?
Put the internet to work for you.
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