Please help: Problem with my husbands lack of compassion and hostility.

Hello there, I'm not sure where to begin. I have been married to my husband now for 7 years, and we have a 5 year old son. When I first met my husband, we were having a great time, though we had fairly different personality styles. Around 6 months of being together, my now husband fell into depression, and he took his anger out on my in what I now see as very passive-aggressive hostility: sarcasm, guilt trips, the silent treatment, insinuations about my character, and put downs disguised as "jokes." Or he would just straight up mock my feelings. Also, other passive aggressive behavior, such as eating things that I had specifically told him I was saving for the next meal. In any case, I put up with all this nonsense (of course, I thought I was going nuts.), and for better or worse I married the guy and had a child. (yeah, I know.) We had some very difficult years, but things have improved a lot over the years, to the point that most of those emotionally abusive behaviors don't happen with nearly the frequency that they used to--perhaps because I've called him out on it, I don't know. We've had a lot of wonderful times together, despite our obvious issues, and we both want to work it out--he keeps telling me that he wants to be a family, to be "in it," so to speak. However, these passive-aggressive behaviors in the past have really undermined my ability to trust him on an emotional level. I have ADHD, and while I am extrovertive, I have generalized anxiety and social anxiety. He has often treated me with "contempt" for these issues, and though his behavior has improved over the years greatly, these behaviors tend to re-appear when he is under a great deal of stress, such as now (major financial difficulties.) For instance, just recently, something very embarrassing happened to me, and I've had a hard time getting over it. My husband talked to me about it a bit in the beginning, but when he saw that I wasn't getting over it after a few days, his sympathy turned to judgement. He came home from work, and could see that I was upset. He asked me why and then when I didn't respond right away, he said, "oh, over the same thing, huh, well I guess I don't want to hear about it." To which I replied "fine, I no you don't agree with how I'm handling it, so let's not talk about it." About 15 minutes later, I made a comment about not liking something he was doing, and in a very mocking tone of voice, he said "maybe I should just do what you do and cry over one little comment for a week." I am... very confused and sad. While this is not the first time he has said or done anything like this, and it has been awhile, I feel sad that I am in a relationship with someone that doesn't or can't accept and support me.(and who obviously doesn't accept himself) I'm not sure what to do. Like any relationship, it's had it's ups and downs, and for the last 6 months, mostly up. I know that some of you would tell me to not be in a marriage with some one who would put me down or be verbally abusive. However, as I've said, there has been much improvement, and this behavior of his seems more likely to come out when he's really stressed--though I know that, it's very difficult for me blow off this mean, bullying behavior. I would love to go to counseling, but we really, really, cannot afford it. The stress in our life is financial, and we had to borrow money to pay rent last month, and we are a month behind on all our bills. I don't know what I'm asking for here other than support, and perspective? Thanks for listening.

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