Hi everyone.
I was separated for 11 months, we've been back together for 2 months. Living in a condo with our almost 3-year-old daughter.
We've worked through a lot of issues together. Some we've resolved, others are still "pending".
What has been bothering me a lot this week is, I'm just annoyed by him. Very annoyed and it causes me to be mean to him or just distant.
He's a very loud person (just naturally, the volume of his voice booms) and he's always talking to our daughter at home. So I feel as though I don't have the peace and quiet. Sometimes I just wish he wasn't there, so that it would be peaceful. I'm constantly telling him to lower his voice because it's loud...or I will literally just go in to another room far away from him and try to calm myself down and get away from the noise.
He spends A LOT of time at his mom's house (basically if I'm not home, he will be at his mom's house...every moment that I'm not home, he's at his mom's). This is hard because I don't have a good relationship with his family (we almost got a divorce because of them) and don't like him spending all that time with them. Also I feel that he takes no interest in "our" home. I actually feel he doesn't think of it as his home at all, because I rented the place and furnished it when we were separated.
He is socially very awkard. Example1: He doesn't take any pride in how he dresses at all and I have to nag him to get him dressed decently. I literally have to tell him to go shopping for clothes, and since he doesn't do it, I have to go with him and pick stuff out. I don't want to do this. He's supposed to be a man, but I feel like I have to raise him all over again. In the meantime, he's under pressure because I'm nagging him. Example2: When he's thinking, or if he's even a little bit annoyed, his brow furrows to the point that a stranger would think he's really upset. But he's not. That's just how he looks and nobody has ever pointed it out to him (except me). But it's embarrassing to me because if we go out, and he's thinking about something, he looks super upset. He also doesn't like it if I point it out.
My question is...does general unhappiness go away with time if you have patience? I feel like I have to correct him a lot, but that translates into nagging.
I was more peaceful when I was separated because there was nobody to argue with. Now, the co-habitation is very difficult on me. Adjusting to living with him again is hard...that's not even counting in all his social awkwardness. Yes he's loving and affectionate but I feel like marriage is a big headache... Is this normal? Might it go away if I give it time? Or should I take the "easy" way out and just insist that he leaves...? (I have asked him to leave a few times since we got back together, but he says he loves us and doesn't have a life without us. I also love him so I don't want to hurt him.)
I was separated for 11 months, we've been back together for 2 months. Living in a condo with our almost 3-year-old daughter.
We've worked through a lot of issues together. Some we've resolved, others are still "pending".
What has been bothering me a lot this week is, I'm just annoyed by him. Very annoyed and it causes me to be mean to him or just distant.
He's a very loud person (just naturally, the volume of his voice booms) and he's always talking to our daughter at home. So I feel as though I don't have the peace and quiet. Sometimes I just wish he wasn't there, so that it would be peaceful. I'm constantly telling him to lower his voice because it's loud...or I will literally just go in to another room far away from him and try to calm myself down and get away from the noise.
He spends A LOT of time at his mom's house (basically if I'm not home, he will be at his mom's house...every moment that I'm not home, he's at his mom's). This is hard because I don't have a good relationship with his family (we almost got a divorce because of them) and don't like him spending all that time with them. Also I feel that he takes no interest in "our" home. I actually feel he doesn't think of it as his home at all, because I rented the place and furnished it when we were separated.
He is socially very awkard. Example1: He doesn't take any pride in how he dresses at all and I have to nag him to get him dressed decently. I literally have to tell him to go shopping for clothes, and since he doesn't do it, I have to go with him and pick stuff out. I don't want to do this. He's supposed to be a man, but I feel like I have to raise him all over again. In the meantime, he's under pressure because I'm nagging him. Example2: When he's thinking, or if he's even a little bit annoyed, his brow furrows to the point that a stranger would think he's really upset. But he's not. That's just how he looks and nobody has ever pointed it out to him (except me). But it's embarrassing to me because if we go out, and he's thinking about something, he looks super upset. He also doesn't like it if I point it out.
My question is...does general unhappiness go away with time if you have patience? I feel like I have to correct him a lot, but that translates into nagging.
I was more peaceful when I was separated because there was nobody to argue with. Now, the co-habitation is very difficult on me. Adjusting to living with him again is hard...that's not even counting in all his social awkwardness. Yes he's loving and affectionate but I feel like marriage is a big headache... Is this normal? Might it go away if I give it time? Or should I take the "easy" way out and just insist that he leaves...? (I have asked him to leave a few times since we got back together, but he says he loves us and doesn't have a life without us. I also love him so I don't want to hurt him.)
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