Really Bad Fight

Today My wife and I had a really bad fight. (Its been lasting for a few days now really). we have to usual marriage drama I think. Money sometimes, both work so cant spend alot of quality time together or both really tired when we can, and just things like that. Today I really hurt her feelings though. to the point where she was crying really bad all day. I had no idea what to do. It seemed the more i talked and tried to help the more it was getting worse. Her mother eventually came over and help her feel better. Now she doesn't think i love her or care about her at all but that isn't true at all!
This same fight has actually occurred more than once. It arises when she hasn't slept very well for awhile. Shes a nurse on shift work with insomnia. I know this about her and I know how she gets when shes tired and its really snappy and grumpy. I can usually catch this and realize the root to her attitude and try and make her feel better but sometimes i get the same way and our relationship tumbles from there. I get really tired and snappy too, lose my patience at her attitude and we fight. She thinks I don't care about her not sleeping and I get defensive in return where to the point where she thinks I'm attacking her and it goes back to back.

I need help! I don't want to lose her over this but it keeps getting worse.

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