... because he watched our daughter being born.
Yes, you read that right. My husband has informed me today that the reason why we no longer have sex is because he watched me push our daughter out of my vagina.
We've been together for 5 years now. When we first got together we were having sex all the time and any where. We were crazy about each other. He wasn't suppose to be able to have children, he had an accident when he was a teenager and the doctor had told him that children were out of the question. He's had a few serious relationships since the accident where the wife/girlfriend wanted to have his baby and they desperately tried. Never once was he able to get either woman pregnant. I came along years later and we assumed he'd not be able to have children. I was fine with that, I was happy just being with him and enjoying our life together.
Well, I got pregnant. We were only a year into our relationship when we found out. It was a complete shock but we decided that it was a blessing and God gave us this chance for a reason. We have never once regretted it.
Once our daughter came along, the sex slowed right down. I was lucky to get it maybe a couple of times a month. About a year or so later it slowed right down to once a month. Last year we bought our first house and we moved in. We were having sex more, back to a few times a month, and life was good. New house, happy healthy daughter, and our sex life seemed to be coming back.
Everything came to a crashing end about 4 months ago. Sex has completely stopped. I get a quick 3 pecks and 'I love you' before we go to sleep at night and that's all. When I ask about it, at first he told me it was because I'd said that I kinda want to have another child and he doesn't. Today, we got into a HUGE fight, and I asked him why I shouldn't think that he's cheating on me when we don't have sex or any sort of affection towards each other, other then the pecks before bed. His answer today changed from not wanting any more children to 'I had to watch you push our daughters head out of your vagina. Now whenever I look at you, all I can imagine is that.' :confused:
Now, I'm the first one to admit that I've not lost the 'baby weight' from the pregnancy. I've asked him before to be brutally honest with me, if that's why he doesn't want to have sex because he's no longer attracted to me. If he'd have said yes, I told him that our lifestyle would change drastically. We are not the healthiest eaters and I'm aware of this. I'm more then willing to give up the junk food and loose the weight if that will help fix our relationship. He had said that's not the problem. (side note - I'm assuming that he's not telling me the truth about the weight issue and I've started exercising and have cut all junk food out of my life. I'm doing this for myself, our daughter, and him).
Today, he told me that he's talked to one of his friends, wouldn't name the person, and the friend had told him that he really should go see a doctor. They could help him figure it out. I agreed and he flat out told me he refuses to go - excuse is he has no time.
My question(s) are this:
- is this a normal thing to happen to some men? They witness the birth of their child and it turns them off of sex?
- what can I do to help him, to help us and our relationship?
Thank you in advance for any help anyone may have. I'm at my whits end and I'm completely lost. I feel as if he doesn't love me anymore.
Yes, you read that right. My husband has informed me today that the reason why we no longer have sex is because he watched me push our daughter out of my vagina.
We've been together for 5 years now. When we first got together we were having sex all the time and any where. We were crazy about each other. He wasn't suppose to be able to have children, he had an accident when he was a teenager and the doctor had told him that children were out of the question. He's had a few serious relationships since the accident where the wife/girlfriend wanted to have his baby and they desperately tried. Never once was he able to get either woman pregnant. I came along years later and we assumed he'd not be able to have children. I was fine with that, I was happy just being with him and enjoying our life together.
Well, I got pregnant. We were only a year into our relationship when we found out. It was a complete shock but we decided that it was a blessing and God gave us this chance for a reason. We have never once regretted it.
Once our daughter came along, the sex slowed right down. I was lucky to get it maybe a couple of times a month. About a year or so later it slowed right down to once a month. Last year we bought our first house and we moved in. We were having sex more, back to a few times a month, and life was good. New house, happy healthy daughter, and our sex life seemed to be coming back.
Everything came to a crashing end about 4 months ago. Sex has completely stopped. I get a quick 3 pecks and 'I love you' before we go to sleep at night and that's all. When I ask about it, at first he told me it was because I'd said that I kinda want to have another child and he doesn't. Today, we got into a HUGE fight, and I asked him why I shouldn't think that he's cheating on me when we don't have sex or any sort of affection towards each other, other then the pecks before bed. His answer today changed from not wanting any more children to 'I had to watch you push our daughters head out of your vagina. Now whenever I look at you, all I can imagine is that.' :confused:
Now, I'm the first one to admit that I've not lost the 'baby weight' from the pregnancy. I've asked him before to be brutally honest with me, if that's why he doesn't want to have sex because he's no longer attracted to me. If he'd have said yes, I told him that our lifestyle would change drastically. We are not the healthiest eaters and I'm aware of this. I'm more then willing to give up the junk food and loose the weight if that will help fix our relationship. He had said that's not the problem. (side note - I'm assuming that he's not telling me the truth about the weight issue and I've started exercising and have cut all junk food out of my life. I'm doing this for myself, our daughter, and him).
Today, he told me that he's talked to one of his friends, wouldn't name the person, and the friend had told him that he really should go see a doctor. They could help him figure it out. I agreed and he flat out told me he refuses to go - excuse is he has no time.
My question(s) are this:
- is this a normal thing to happen to some men? They witness the birth of their child and it turns them off of sex?
- what can I do to help him, to help us and our relationship?
Thank you in advance for any help anyone may have. I'm at my whits end and I'm completely lost. I feel as if he doesn't love me anymore.
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