My husband and I are 29/30 yrs of age. We have been together 4.5 yrs. We have two children ages 4 and 1.
As of late, I have not been interested in sex with my husband. To be honest, I haven't been interested in self pleasure either.
I believe it is because I am under a lot of stress between going back to work (a job that I hate and I am trying to change desperately), parenting and just the day to day grind... I also feel like my husband and I are disconnected on a few levels.
The other night, my husband offered me a back rub... with a small intention that it would lead to more... I said not tonight, I wasn't into it, and said "tomorrow"... he said he didn't feel I was attracted to him... I explained that I am honestly just not feeling very sexual lately. I'm not interested. I expressed my feelings of stress and day to day grinding, I expressed that I feel kind of unaccomplished on a day to day basis because we are not working collectively towards a goal...I expressed that I feel kind of low.... I believed we went to bed on a good note.
Tomorrow came, and again, I was not feeling like I wanted to have sex.. He had just gotten home from hockey and I was just finished getting kids to bed and house cleaned up...
I leaned into him to cuddle and he turned away... the next morning, I sent him a loving text....
he then proceeded to tell me he wants all or nothing.... he says If I can't have sex with him, I cant cuddle, kiss, hug or hold hands with him... his analogy was "its like having a boat with no lake to enjoy it in".
I am saddened by his response.. In my view.,.. there is sex without love and love without sex sometimes.. and as husband and wife, I am of the position that even in times where there is no sex, there should still be love and affection.... probably more so... because the other side needs a little love and attention when they are down...
I am unsure if he is completely out in left field in his position or if I am.. I need some outside perspectives.,.
Please help!
As of late, I have not been interested in sex with my husband. To be honest, I haven't been interested in self pleasure either.
I believe it is because I am under a lot of stress between going back to work (a job that I hate and I am trying to change desperately), parenting and just the day to day grind... I also feel like my husband and I are disconnected on a few levels.
The other night, my husband offered me a back rub... with a small intention that it would lead to more... I said not tonight, I wasn't into it, and said "tomorrow"... he said he didn't feel I was attracted to him... I explained that I am honestly just not feeling very sexual lately. I'm not interested. I expressed my feelings of stress and day to day grinding, I expressed that I feel kind of unaccomplished on a day to day basis because we are not working collectively towards a goal...I expressed that I feel kind of low.... I believed we went to bed on a good note.
Tomorrow came, and again, I was not feeling like I wanted to have sex.. He had just gotten home from hockey and I was just finished getting kids to bed and house cleaned up...
I leaned into him to cuddle and he turned away... the next morning, I sent him a loving text....
he then proceeded to tell me he wants all or nothing.... he says If I can't have sex with him, I cant cuddle, kiss, hug or hold hands with him... his analogy was "its like having a boat with no lake to enjoy it in".
I am saddened by his response.. In my view.,.. there is sex without love and love without sex sometimes.. and as husband and wife, I am of the position that even in times where there is no sex, there should still be love and affection.... probably more so... because the other side needs a little love and attention when they are down...
I am unsure if he is completely out in left field in his position or if I am.. I need some outside perspectives.,.
Please help!
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