Having seen a lot of posts hear about spouses lying about porn use and past partners and how people and the responses they seem to follow the same pattern, someone is in turmoil about discovering what their spouse has hidden from them and the responses are pretty similar. There grievance is either dismissed telling the op they're insecure or they are answered with compassion (depending on the responders having the same/opposite view on the subject).
Assuming someone told their future spouse there views/want's and the partner lied about their past/porn use, are the past partners lie/ discovering porn lie really any different?
Porn is images/videos/books, no physical contact with anyone else BUT for some this is a no go in a relationship and deeply effect how they view/feel about their partner (and the fact their partner is doing this presently in the relationship and trying to hide what they knew was a partners deal breaker).
Does anyone really have the right to call them controlling since they told their partner straight up they don't want to be in a relationship and their partner went into the relationship and/or marriage?
Is it right calling them insecure because their deal breaker/ views or turn offs are different to many others?
Is it fair to tell them to be understanding to something their partner willingly deceived them to continue the relationship when this person was fully aware how they would view/feel in the relationship?
Past partners are lies about the past and (excluding cheating) what they did before they met they're current partner isn't happening in the present.
But again does anyone really have the right to call them insecure because their views on sex are different to others and they wanted to share their life with someone that shared the same views on sex as them?
Is it really their fault that they feel different about their partner discovering their partner willingly lied to them about something they knew would be a deal breaker their partner?
On the other side if someone's partner has a higher drive than they do is it realistic to expect them to not watch/look/read at porn to subsidize this?
No one has a crystal ball and people will have had years of life experience before they knew they're partners even existed, they're views on sex could have totally changed before or after they met you, is it realistic not to expect someone to lie if they're partners views are extreme.
Are the expectations of a partner not lying about porn/ past partners as realistic/unrealistic as each other if someone has a very set views?
Both lies seem like 2 sides of the same coin to me.
Sorry about the long post saw someone saying lying about porn/partners aren't comparable and didn't want to thread jack :p
Assuming someone told their future spouse there views/want's and the partner lied about their past/porn use, are the past partners lie/ discovering porn lie really any different?
Porn is images/videos/books, no physical contact with anyone else BUT for some this is a no go in a relationship and deeply effect how they view/feel about their partner (and the fact their partner is doing this presently in the relationship and trying to hide what they knew was a partners deal breaker).
Does anyone really have the right to call them controlling since they told their partner straight up they don't want to be in a relationship and their partner went into the relationship and/or marriage?
Is it right calling them insecure because their deal breaker/ views or turn offs are different to many others?
Is it fair to tell them to be understanding to something their partner willingly deceived them to continue the relationship when this person was fully aware how they would view/feel in the relationship?
Past partners are lies about the past and (excluding cheating) what they did before they met they're current partner isn't happening in the present.
But again does anyone really have the right to call them insecure because their views on sex are different to others and they wanted to share their life with someone that shared the same views on sex as them?
Is it really their fault that they feel different about their partner discovering their partner willingly lied to them about something they knew would be a deal breaker their partner?
On the other side if someone's partner has a higher drive than they do is it realistic to expect them to not watch/look/read at porn to subsidize this?
No one has a crystal ball and people will have had years of life experience before they knew they're partners even existed, they're views on sex could have totally changed before or after they met you, is it realistic not to expect someone to lie if they're partners views are extreme.
Are the expectations of a partner not lying about porn/ past partners as realistic/unrealistic as each other if someone has a very set views?
Both lies seem like 2 sides of the same coin to me.
Sorry about the long post saw someone saying lying about porn/partners aren't comparable and didn't want to thread jack :p
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment