Hi, I would appreciate some thoughts on this if you don't mind (especially if you have been in a LDR yourself)....
I am a girl, I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months, 4 of those in Long Distance.
(just a warning it is pretty long)
On Day 1 I was moving the final things from my old house, with my boyfriends help...halfway through the day I felt a change in him, he just got all quiet and I could sense something wasn't right...but he insisted it was.
Now, these past 2 days have been hell....on Day 2 and 3 he has been really negative. He says he doesn't like hoping and has been let down by people a lot before. He has been saying that he does love me....he doesnt want to leave me, he doesnt want me to leave him...but he is sick of the distance and is bored... I think he means bored of the relationship but I'm not sure....We don't have any plans for another visit because he is likely to be busy most times when I can come down....
He says he has to come to terms with the differences in the way we live and does not believe me when i say I will be moving back to him next year when I finish my A-levels (I am not going to university)
He also tells me he can see me for a visit, then changes his mind again. He says he wont come and visit me because he does not like my parents very much and does not agree with the way me and my family live....
We do have intimate fun when we are apart as well as together.. but he said he misses the physical side of it, he misses my hugs and kisses, he said he can't relax when he is away from me, he can only relax when we are together.
I want to help him, but I feel so helpless...I've told him that he can go and find a girl who can give him the physical stuff he needs, but he says no because they wont match up to me, that they wont give kisses and hugs the same way I do, that I am unique and beautiful and he doesn't want another....
He is an amazing boyfriend when we are together, everything I could ever want in a guy. But when he gets so depressed and pessimistic, it just grates on me and I feel lost, because I cant help him in the way I would like to and I feel like this relationship is going down the pan, when I am really really determined to make this work....
I would appreciate any thoughts on this please, especially any advice on how I should approach it, or any thoughts on why he might be as he is....
Thanks xx
I am a girl, I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months, 4 of those in Long Distance.
(just a warning it is pretty long)
On Day 1 I was moving the final things from my old house, with my boyfriends help...halfway through the day I felt a change in him, he just got all quiet and I could sense something wasn't right...but he insisted it was.
Now, these past 2 days have been hell....on Day 2 and 3 he has been really negative. He says he doesn't like hoping and has been let down by people a lot before. He has been saying that he does love me....he doesnt want to leave me, he doesnt want me to leave him...but he is sick of the distance and is bored... I think he means bored of the relationship but I'm not sure....We don't have any plans for another visit because he is likely to be busy most times when I can come down....
He says he has to come to terms with the differences in the way we live and does not believe me when i say I will be moving back to him next year when I finish my A-levels (I am not going to university)
He also tells me he can see me for a visit, then changes his mind again. He says he wont come and visit me because he does not like my parents very much and does not agree with the way me and my family live....
We do have intimate fun when we are apart as well as together.. but he said he misses the physical side of it, he misses my hugs and kisses, he said he can't relax when he is away from me, he can only relax when we are together.
I want to help him, but I feel so helpless...I've told him that he can go and find a girl who can give him the physical stuff he needs, but he says no because they wont match up to me, that they wont give kisses and hugs the same way I do, that I am unique and beautiful and he doesn't want another....
He is an amazing boyfriend when we are together, everything I could ever want in a guy. But when he gets so depressed and pessimistic, it just grates on me and I feel lost, because I cant help him in the way I would like to and I feel like this relationship is going down the pan, when I am really really determined to make this work....
I would appreciate any thoughts on this please, especially any advice on how I should approach it, or any thoughts on why he might be as he is....
Thanks xx
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