Sorry if this post will run long, but i am out of answers on my own. I have read this board for awhile and think the input with the posters is great do just want to get my issue out there.
I want to start off with saying i love my wife dearly and open for any help, but if the marriage in the bedroom does not improve i fear the worst. Been married for 3 years and dated for 6 before that. Most of our marraige is great i would say. We both are in our 30's (I am 3 years older), have good jobs, strong family and friends, a great relationship with her daugther (17) that i treat as my own. No one is perfect, but i think i do my best with chores in and out the house, school functions needing to be atteneded to for her daughter etc...I always do the little things, like if she is thirsty i get her a drink in the middle of the night, always take the dogs out all hours, or if she is laying on the couch and her feer her cold i will get her socks etc...she tells me all the time i am good to her.
The sticking point is the bedroom. The first 4-5 years our sex life was great, anytime and anyplace. My friends would always tell me how lucky i was. But before we got married i noticed a change. She stopped initiating and only would if she was buzzed. I even got turned down at times for various reasons. I know some of it was as her daugher got older in HS years its hard to go at it as she is aware of what is going on. But the weekdends she is at her Dad's nothing still. I tried reeading up on things to do and nothing worked. She has toys that she likes and i always and good have them worked in the sex. She acknowledges that we dont have sex and promises to chnage it but nothing. I have stopped trying to see what will happen and that just leaves me frustrated and feeling alone. We both dont look like we do when we dated and gained weight but i still find her attractive and tell her all the time. I have bought sexy outfits or even yoga pants saying i love to sse you in anythi ng. I have worked on it and am not really that heavy but still lost 25lbs where she has not even tried. Again i dont care.
The other thing is she is addicted to her Kindle and kinky novels. She reads all hours of the day and night. I say lets do whats in the book and she just changes the subject. I recently saw during a cleaning session a new vibrator. She doesn't know i have seen it so i place it off a bit to tell if she is using it. Well it seems that thing is getting a work out daily. I dont get it as i always have been open using it. Like i said you wouldnt know there is any issues as everything else is good and she tells me she loves me and is sorry for lack of sex but i get home and its reading some novel and off to bed leaving me alone at night.
Sorry for the ramble but I love my wife, but i cant go like this with total lack of sex. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
I want to start off with saying i love my wife dearly and open for any help, but if the marriage in the bedroom does not improve i fear the worst. Been married for 3 years and dated for 6 before that. Most of our marraige is great i would say. We both are in our 30's (I am 3 years older), have good jobs, strong family and friends, a great relationship with her daugther (17) that i treat as my own. No one is perfect, but i think i do my best with chores in and out the house, school functions needing to be atteneded to for her daughter etc...I always do the little things, like if she is thirsty i get her a drink in the middle of the night, always take the dogs out all hours, or if she is laying on the couch and her feer her cold i will get her socks etc...she tells me all the time i am good to her.
The sticking point is the bedroom. The first 4-5 years our sex life was great, anytime and anyplace. My friends would always tell me how lucky i was. But before we got married i noticed a change. She stopped initiating and only would if she was buzzed. I even got turned down at times for various reasons. I know some of it was as her daugher got older in HS years its hard to go at it as she is aware of what is going on. But the weekdends she is at her Dad's nothing still. I tried reeading up on things to do and nothing worked. She has toys that she likes and i always and good have them worked in the sex. She acknowledges that we dont have sex and promises to chnage it but nothing. I have stopped trying to see what will happen and that just leaves me frustrated and feeling alone. We both dont look like we do when we dated and gained weight but i still find her attractive and tell her all the time. I have bought sexy outfits or even yoga pants saying i love to sse you in anythi ng. I have worked on it and am not really that heavy but still lost 25lbs where she has not even tried. Again i dont care.
The other thing is she is addicted to her Kindle and kinky novels. She reads all hours of the day and night. I say lets do whats in the book and she just changes the subject. I recently saw during a cleaning session a new vibrator. She doesn't know i have seen it so i place it off a bit to tell if she is using it. Well it seems that thing is getting a work out daily. I dont get it as i always have been open using it. Like i said you wouldnt know there is any issues as everything else is good and she tells me she loves me and is sorry for lack of sex but i get home and its reading some novel and off to bed leaving me alone at night.
Sorry for the ramble but I love my wife, but i cant go like this with total lack of sex. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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