After several failed attempts at the 180 I think I'm finally doing it right. No more pleading, begging, phone calls, etc. to her. I was served divorce papers and seeing her signature on those docs was a big wake up call that it is over. I'm about a month in doing the 180 successfully.
Admittedly, I started the 180 for the wrong reasons...mainly to try and get her to see what she is missing (me as well as the family life we had with our two kids aged 4 and 6). It has morphed into half doing it for the wrong reasons and half doing it for the right reasons (to be ok no matter what happens). I've progressed over the past month...not huge progress but going in the right direction.
But my mind is still obsessed with the would've, could've, should'ves and it's me whose missing the family unit the most (or so it seems). It's so odd going from 15 years building a life and family together to a "hi" and a "bye" once a week when we pickup/dropoff kids.
So I do want my wife/family life back AND I want to be just fine it I don't get that life back. I know the 180 is working (slowly but it is) on being okay if I don't get that back but I'm starting to wonder if it's the most effective way of actually resuscitating my marriage. I feel like I'm just letting it die.
Admittedly, I started the 180 for the wrong reasons...mainly to try and get her to see what she is missing (me as well as the family life we had with our two kids aged 4 and 6). It has morphed into half doing it for the wrong reasons and half doing it for the right reasons (to be ok no matter what happens). I've progressed over the past month...not huge progress but going in the right direction.
But my mind is still obsessed with the would've, could've, should'ves and it's me whose missing the family unit the most (or so it seems). It's so odd going from 15 years building a life and family together to a "hi" and a "bye" once a week when we pickup/dropoff kids.
So I do want my wife/family life back AND I want to be just fine it I don't get that life back. I know the 180 is working (slowly but it is) on being okay if I don't get that back but I'm starting to wonder if it's the most effective way of actually resuscitating my marriage. I feel like I'm just letting it die.
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