I hope I am infertile...?!

Hi everyone, Strange situation here and I'd really appreciate some input. Wife and I have been married for 2 years. We are a great team and we are still rockn'. Something has been bugging me lately. When we got married we both had the interest in having kids someday. My friend had a kid around the time we got married and after seeing and talking to my friend over the 2 years I am now totally turned off of the idea. My wife and I have transparent communication. I told her this and she agrees...but here is the problem: I don't know how, but ever since I can remember there has been this bug in my head that has associated intimacy with unprotected sex. Perhaps because when I was young I watched a lot of filth but I have spent a lot of time meditating and talking to counselors to solve this problem, but to avail. Every time we have sex, no matter how hot and wild it is, I feel no connection to her. I still get off every time but I am getting really tired of condoms and my wife completely refuses to take birth control (including iud's and the shot). I'm not going to force her and give her an ultimatum nor will I get a vasectomy. I want to work this out and I need to get to the root of the problem. There is also a part of me that is disappointed every time we have sex...and I fantasize that she would forget to ask me to put a cover on or take a risk with me for once. She's also very unwilling to try the pull-out method. Perhaps a trust issue? Anyways, I think I have found a crazy solution. Infertility. Can anyone give me tips of healthy things I can eat or little things I can do to reduce or kill my sperm count? I don't ever want kids and I don't want the surgery simply out of fear that it would reduce sensitivity down there, as I read that this has occurred with many men. Crazy question so I expect crazy answers. Perhaps more a question for my doctor but I am dead serious non the less.

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