Married 20 years. 2 kids.
For past 6 years I had been looking outside marriage for sex. Mainly ego, mainly to try something new (before marriage I was a virgin). First few years I signed up on match.com etc. Wife caught me on match.com through some email left accidently open. I promised never to do it again, begged her etc.
Never did dating sites again
However for the past 2-3 years have been visiting escorts. Thought that is safe. Again ego, something new, try things wife won't do etc. Also had a 2-3 day fling.
Wife found out.
Not interested in leaving my present marriage. Love my family.
How do I
a) What are the stages people go through - anger, denial, sad? How does it ebb and flow. Is there a typical pattern that I can sense.
b) Hasten the recovery. This is very recent. I am sorry doesn't work because of past experience. Hugging seems to work a little (or at least I think so). But I also don't want to make it so one-sided that I get on the loosing end of every argument
when wife brings it up everytime.
Am I approaching this the right way. I did not have an affair in my mind. I am also not interested right now in answering long term questions regarding whether i would do it again etc. Probably not but right now I would appreciate timely responses on (a) and (b).
For past 6 years I had been looking outside marriage for sex. Mainly ego, mainly to try something new (before marriage I was a virgin). First few years I signed up on match.com etc. Wife caught me on match.com through some email left accidently open. I promised never to do it again, begged her etc.
Never did dating sites again
However for the past 2-3 years have been visiting escorts. Thought that is safe. Again ego, something new, try things wife won't do etc. Also had a 2-3 day fling.
Wife found out.
Not interested in leaving my present marriage. Love my family.
How do I
a) What are the stages people go through - anger, denial, sad? How does it ebb and flow. Is there a typical pattern that I can sense.
b) Hasten the recovery. This is very recent. I am sorry doesn't work because of past experience. Hugging seems to work a little (or at least I think so). But I also don't want to make it so one-sided that I get on the loosing end of every argument
when wife brings it up everytime.
Am I approaching this the right way. I did not have an affair in my mind. I am also not interested right now in answering long term questions regarding whether i would do it again etc. Probably not but right now I would appreciate timely responses on (a) and (b).
Put the internet to work for you.
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