I think it is time....

Sorry if this is long, I will try to keep it short as possible. My husband and I have been together for 7 and married for almost 5. We have been having problems on and off our entire relationships due to intimacy issues that I feel have gotten way better the last year but my husband has so much resentment that he doesn't see it. He is also very emotionally abusive when he gets angry and has threatened to leave several times. I have been practicing the 180 which has made me more confident and strong than I ever have been before which is now making me realize that I don't need to be scared of him leaving or put up with him calling me names. Here is the problem.... Most of the time he seems happy and he tells me how much loves me ect. Than, when we fight, he tells me how unhappy he is and how he doesn't want to be with me anymore. We had a great weekend together than last night we got into a huge fight. He usually will call me names but this time he took it over the ledge. Sorry for the language but these are a few things that he called me/said. C**t (has never called me this before) Worthless Bi%&H That I was a retard and had mental problems That I was un-greatful That he doesn't want to be with me anymore That he thinks I suck my fathers D**k (has never said this before) That I was insecure princess and weak and a few others things Afterwards, he told me he was going to leave me. I told him ok. We got home, and I went to bed. he followed a few minutes later and came and cuddled with me and told me he loved me and he was sorry for saying those things. I told him that I appreciated his apology and left it at that. Today, he has been texting me on and off and asking me if I was ok. I told him yes but I'm not. I am willing to forgive him for what he has said but all I can think about is what a pathetic little boy (have never called him this) he is and that I don't want to deal with it anymore. We have a lot of good times but at this point, it doesn't seem worth it to me. I never know when he going to explode and I don't want to live like this anymore. And yes, I have brought up his abusive behavior sooo many times in the past and he either a. says he doesn't like to be that way and will try not to or b. says that if I wouldn't argue with him than it wouldn't happen. With the 180, I have decided that if he wants to leave, I won't stop him but maybe its time for me to make the decision instead of waiting for him. I have no respect for him anymore and I don't trust him with my thoughts or feelings because he stomps them down when he is mad. I know that I am guilty of things too. I am the one that didn't want to have sex and rejected him all the time which has made him resentful so I take full responsibility of what I have brought to the table and he knows this because we have talked about it to death. So confused...

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979