My story;
About two years ago my wife had an affair with a co worker, we work opposing shifts and she had been working a lot of overtime recently so it ended up with only seeing her for minutes a day. We chose this schedule to keep our children out of day care and to have them always with at least one of us. At the time we were in a not so happy place and seemed to argue about everything, and sex was something that only took place about once a month. She is not very good at covering her tracks so her cell phone ratted her out, she did not know I knew the password. She told me it was a one time event and the call I made to the hotel business card i found in her wallet, found somebody willing to look it up for me, while illegal it confirmed her story, of coarse he made her use her name. As I said not very good at track covering. We decided to not throw away our 12 year marriage and went into therapy. Things have been good for the most part since then, but every now and then a trigger wil l set me off and this whole other compulsive person comes out, he is relentless and wont stop until he finds something to use as leverage with her, as if he wants to hurt her. When I become this person I loose all control, its like watching somebody else behind the wheel. My therapist solution was get on medication, which I tried but when the evil side comes out it really didnt do much to stop it. When he does come out its like pressing rewind and throwing everything away that we accomplished because it digs up the bodies we thought were burried. This is the damaged part of me that wont let go of the pain and its starting to create a rift. Any input on this is appreciated, thank you.
About two years ago my wife had an affair with a co worker, we work opposing shifts and she had been working a lot of overtime recently so it ended up with only seeing her for minutes a day. We chose this schedule to keep our children out of day care and to have them always with at least one of us. At the time we were in a not so happy place and seemed to argue about everything, and sex was something that only took place about once a month. She is not very good at covering her tracks so her cell phone ratted her out, she did not know I knew the password. She told me it was a one time event and the call I made to the hotel business card i found in her wallet, found somebody willing to look it up for me, while illegal it confirmed her story, of coarse he made her use her name. As I said not very good at track covering. We decided to not throw away our 12 year marriage and went into therapy. Things have been good for the most part since then, but every now and then a trigger wil l set me off and this whole other compulsive person comes out, he is relentless and wont stop until he finds something to use as leverage with her, as if he wants to hurt her. When I become this person I loose all control, its like watching somebody else behind the wheel. My therapist solution was get on medication, which I tried but when the evil side comes out it really didnt do much to stop it. When he does come out its like pressing rewind and throwing everything away that we accomplished because it digs up the bodies we thought were burried. This is the damaged part of me that wont let go of the pain and its starting to create a rift. Any input on this is appreciated, thank you.
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