I've been on here for a while. I have gone NC with my ex wife for some time now...well over a month. She has moved on and is in to a 6 month rel with a man and I assume it is going well and she is happier now. I'm guessing her 8 month stage of ****tiness and risky behavior she was involved in after she left has waned and she is being good again for a future with this man, who is financially stable...she is not...( her house still hasn't sold ). We have been separated for over a year now....
I thought I would pass on what still remains and what has vanished emotionally and physically within me, for those who may be in the same state of progress as me.
What still remains:
* I still miss the wife she was when we loved each other, although not as strongly, but it does hit me once in a while
* Thoughts of my shortcomings and the what if's, although I know rectifying these wouldn't have changed much
* I miss the lifestyle of marriage...having someone around at night, in the mornings, and when I come home
*Thoughts of how happy she is, and my stepson bonding with him
*Intermittent thoughts of her smile, laugh, making love to her, and random activities we've done together
What has vanished:
*The constant pain in my heart...physically...the anxiety...and the depressiveness
*The hope of seeing her, talking to her, catching up with her...I care not anymore
* Being tired and out of energy. I'm getting through my days better, and the thoughts of her are rarely frequent
* Deciding whether to forgive her. I am apathetic to this now. It doesn't matter anymore.
*Trying to figure out her character, past motives, behavior, incentives, and the "why's"
I thought I would pass on what still remains and what has vanished emotionally and physically within me, for those who may be in the same state of progress as me.
What still remains:
* I still miss the wife she was when we loved each other, although not as strongly, but it does hit me once in a while
* Thoughts of my shortcomings and the what if's, although I know rectifying these wouldn't have changed much
* I miss the lifestyle of marriage...having someone around at night, in the mornings, and when I come home
*Thoughts of how happy she is, and my stepson bonding with him
*Intermittent thoughts of her smile, laugh, making love to her, and random activities we've done together
What has vanished:
*The constant pain in my heart...physically...the anxiety...and the depressiveness
*The hope of seeing her, talking to her, catching up with her...I care not anymore
* Being tired and out of energy. I'm getting through my days better, and the thoughts of her are rarely frequent
* Deciding whether to forgive her. I am apathetic to this now. It doesn't matter anymore.
*Trying to figure out her character, past motives, behavior, incentives, and the "why's"
Put the internet to work for you.
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