We have been married since HS and are now is our 40's. We have had 4 kids that all but one have moved out and started families. We have separated once for a few months about 4 years ago and today we are good except for one area - I call it sex she calls it love making. Now while I know there is a difference, I have little to no desire to "make love" and she almost never initiates sex. We are now lucky to have sex once or maybe twice in two weeks when 6 years ago it was 4-5 times a week. We are best friends, we have worked together for the past 3 years in a home office and we travel on weekends. So basically we are together 24/7. We almost never argue and have not had a fight in years. We are comfortable with each other, have similar goals. get along great but the sex life has almost died.
A little sex history -
Both were each others first sex partner in HS.
Wife was sexually abused as a child and until she got counseling she was very vanilla and reserved.
About 10 years ago she had a hyst due to adhesion's which also took her labido into the abyss - non existant.
I wondered off into an emotional affair while traveling extensively for business, confessed and we moved forward slowly.
Sex life was still on the rocks and not as frequent for quite a while.
We separated for a bit, still had sex lol but figured out we were not interested in others or not being in the same home.
We have done nearly everything you can imagine as a couple sexually. Toys, oils, outside, sharing photos, swinging, strip clubs, etc.
Now.... Today... Boring and weeks can pass with no sexual activities or intimacy that would include being naked lol. I am not sure how to proceed, it is to the point that when we do have sex I cannot feel my orgasm and this has gone on about 2 years. She wants to make love but never approaches this on her own and expects me to give passion after going a week or two with nothing. I lost my drive, she is not in the mood as often and this is frustrating for us both I'm sure. We did counseling during the separation and that helped heal us as a couple but never helped the sexual desire.
Sorry I summarized but I did not want to type a book here.
Any thoughts or ideas? She is a best friend but the sexual desire or as she wants love making is just not there.
A little sex history -
Both were each others first sex partner in HS.
Wife was sexually abused as a child and until she got counseling she was very vanilla and reserved.
About 10 years ago she had a hyst due to adhesion's which also took her labido into the abyss - non existant.
I wondered off into an emotional affair while traveling extensively for business, confessed and we moved forward slowly.
Sex life was still on the rocks and not as frequent for quite a while.
We separated for a bit, still had sex lol but figured out we were not interested in others or not being in the same home.
We have done nearly everything you can imagine as a couple sexually. Toys, oils, outside, sharing photos, swinging, strip clubs, etc.
Now.... Today... Boring and weeks can pass with no sexual activities or intimacy that would include being naked lol. I am not sure how to proceed, it is to the point that when we do have sex I cannot feel my orgasm and this has gone on about 2 years. She wants to make love but never approaches this on her own and expects me to give passion after going a week or two with nothing. I lost my drive, she is not in the mood as often and this is frustrating for us both I'm sure. We did counseling during the separation and that helped heal us as a couple but never helped the sexual desire.
Sorry I summarized but I did not want to type a book here.
Any thoughts or ideas? She is a best friend but the sexual desire or as she wants love making is just not there.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment