My husband and I have been married for almost a year, but we have known each other and dated for 8 years. We're now 27/28. Things were much simpler and I guess we didn't think too much back then. We love each other alot and have been through alot as well. We thought that if we are together we can accomplish anything, and we're able to put up with alot of our flaws. But since we're married, we also have more responsiblities.
I had alot of tolerance back then, and I realized that there are things I must act on if I want to make myself happy. One of the biggest concern I have is that my husband spends more time on misc things while complaining about not having time for himself and for us, because if other people ask for help or something comes up he sometimes spends hours or half a day on it instead of finding ways to shorten it or just say he has things to do. His schedule on the weekends are already short just because he cannot wake up early. I have try telling him this, and he agrees but he just doesn't know how to priortize.
He doesn't have many friends, and the friend that he still hangs out with is a freeloader that owes him a grand. He is aware of the friend being a jerk, but he's willing to put up with him because he feels like he's the only one really willing to talk to him because he's not a people's person. I do have him hang out with some of my friends, but I guess they're not 'his' friends.
His mom and sister lives in Ukraine, and we send they money every month ever since the moms husband(not related to him or the sister) left her a year ago. The mom doesn't work because of a mild disablity, and the sister is about 17 has always been spolied, even though their support is from us. There's many problems that goes about which stresses my husband out, but he chooses to always do things his way and won't listen to what other tells him if it's not what he wants to hear. I have told him he can't sit on it and continue to send too much money just because he wants them to have a better life if they don't do anything with their lives and this becomes a dependency issue, and they also added a bf into the picture that can barely support himself. But every time I bring about the idea of cutting down, he accuses me of wanting to let them starve. It is selfish of me to think that, but that's what everyone has been suggesting, and we're not rich enough to sustain this in the lo ng run. These are just the 3 big things that bothers me.
Ofcourse I'm not without flaws, but it's just increasingly difficult to focus on my life and our life if the other one is not quite there.
I had alot of tolerance back then, and I realized that there are things I must act on if I want to make myself happy. One of the biggest concern I have is that my husband spends more time on misc things while complaining about not having time for himself and for us, because if other people ask for help or something comes up he sometimes spends hours or half a day on it instead of finding ways to shorten it or just say he has things to do. His schedule on the weekends are already short just because he cannot wake up early. I have try telling him this, and he agrees but he just doesn't know how to priortize.
He doesn't have many friends, and the friend that he still hangs out with is a freeloader that owes him a grand. He is aware of the friend being a jerk, but he's willing to put up with him because he feels like he's the only one really willing to talk to him because he's not a people's person. I do have him hang out with some of my friends, but I guess they're not 'his' friends.
His mom and sister lives in Ukraine, and we send they money every month ever since the moms husband(not related to him or the sister) left her a year ago. The mom doesn't work because of a mild disablity, and the sister is about 17 has always been spolied, even though their support is from us. There's many problems that goes about which stresses my husband out, but he chooses to always do things his way and won't listen to what other tells him if it's not what he wants to hear. I have told him he can't sit on it and continue to send too much money just because he wants them to have a better life if they don't do anything with their lives and this becomes a dependency issue, and they also added a bf into the picture that can barely support himself. But every time I bring about the idea of cutting down, he accuses me of wanting to let them starve. It is selfish of me to think that, but that's what everyone has been suggesting, and we're not rich enough to sustain this in the lo ng run. These are just the 3 big things that bothers me.
Ofcourse I'm not without flaws, but it's just increasingly difficult to focus on my life and our life if the other one is not quite there.
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