I have had a few threads on this forum but to speed things along, I am 49, H is 50, no children and we have been married for 23 years this August 14th. We do not spend any time together even though we are under the same roof. We have tried MC but last session he lied to my and our therapist's face so that's out. He is a diagnosed Passive Aggressive with some narcissistic traits. Oh, and I am a giver (not the healthy kind as I do not consider my needs at all) and a codependent. And have been actively working on my own issues in IC. I also had some health related issues with menopause. Extreme bone loss so I lost almost all of the teeth. I have a top and bottom plate and neither will stay in my mouth. I am 5 ft. 3 in. and weigh 85.2 lbs tonight. Food choices are limited for me. Up until 2012, I still look liked I was in my 30's.
My H is the singer of a popular acoustic duet band and they play almost every weekend. I used to attend but after going to so many over the course of 24 ½ years I wanted a break for a while. I started going to school online & working as a freelance contractor from home. I felt what I was doing should be my focus because a degree would benefit both of us.
Tonight, I received a text from a trusted friend asking me the relationship between my H & a woman (call her Jane). It seems this person has noticed high activity between the two on their fb pages, she is at almost all of his gigs and even joins him on stage to sing. When I asked him who she was tonight, he told me a friend that hangs out with his other friends that come and see him play. I told him there had been some talk about the appropriateness of their relationship. I did not reveal my source. He laughed and said I bet her boyfriend would be interested in that. But, I checked her fb page and it says she is single. Unfortunately, lying is part of his personality lately as well. Then he just dropped it. Didn't ask who told me, what did I think, or even get mad that I had this information. What I did not tell him was the fact that his "friends" trash talks me and he does or says nothing but will laugh at me with them. This has happened on a lot of occasions.
I have been on this board long enough to know about WeightLifters thread and what to do. To begin with is to STFU and act normal. But here is my problem, he is glued to his phone and to top that off it is locked and only uses facial recognition to unlock. Geessh, who does that? His phone is a Samsung Galaxy S® 4 - White Frost 16GB and our carrier is US Cellular. I'm thinking of installing a VAR over the weekend. He claims he hates to talk on the phone so we shall see. The cell phones are in my name.
I'm pretty sure everyone is going to say cheating. I would agree to at least an EA. If it is a PA, I just don't understand when he would have time to do it. He is always home after work. But there are those gigs that I no longer attend.
Can anyone offer advice, support, experience and even 2x4's?
Any help would be appreciated. I am really confused. Yes, this is tied into the "Living the Lie" thread. Please feel free to ask me any questions? I could really use some un-biased feedback.
Thank you! :mad:
My H is the singer of a popular acoustic duet band and they play almost every weekend. I used to attend but after going to so many over the course of 24 ½ years I wanted a break for a while. I started going to school online & working as a freelance contractor from home. I felt what I was doing should be my focus because a degree would benefit both of us.
Tonight, I received a text from a trusted friend asking me the relationship between my H & a woman (call her Jane). It seems this person has noticed high activity between the two on their fb pages, she is at almost all of his gigs and even joins him on stage to sing. When I asked him who she was tonight, he told me a friend that hangs out with his other friends that come and see him play. I told him there had been some talk about the appropriateness of their relationship. I did not reveal my source. He laughed and said I bet her boyfriend would be interested in that. But, I checked her fb page and it says she is single. Unfortunately, lying is part of his personality lately as well. Then he just dropped it. Didn't ask who told me, what did I think, or even get mad that I had this information. What I did not tell him was the fact that his "friends" trash talks me and he does or says nothing but will laugh at me with them. This has happened on a lot of occasions.
I have been on this board long enough to know about WeightLifters thread and what to do. To begin with is to STFU and act normal. But here is my problem, he is glued to his phone and to top that off it is locked and only uses facial recognition to unlock. Geessh, who does that? His phone is a Samsung Galaxy S® 4 - White Frost 16GB and our carrier is US Cellular. I'm thinking of installing a VAR over the weekend. He claims he hates to talk on the phone so we shall see. The cell phones are in my name.
I'm pretty sure everyone is going to say cheating. I would agree to at least an EA. If it is a PA, I just don't understand when he would have time to do it. He is always home after work. But there are those gigs that I no longer attend.
Can anyone offer advice, support, experience and even 2x4's?
Any help would be appreciated. I am really confused. Yes, this is tied into the "Living the Lie" thread. Please feel free to ask me any questions? I could really use some un-biased feedback.
Thank you! :mad:
Put the internet to work for you.
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