Hello everyone,
My situation is not unusual, but none the less, is wearing on me. I hope you can help me better understand & work thru my emotional roadblock. Thank you for your time, advice & insight.
Brief history...
May 2012-May 2013: I separated from my wife and moved out of the house for a year. During this time, I met & started dating a wonderful woman.
June 2013: I moved back home to give my marriage one more chance.
Dec 2013:
I told my wife I wanted a divorce, but I would wait 1 yr before filing. This would give her time to get herself emotionally & financially settled. I love my girlfriend & begged for another chance. I also told her of my plan to end my marriage & file Jan 2015.
Based partially on my promise (she'd heard them before), in May 2014, she moved several hundred miles so that we could be together. We began living together in June of 2014.
Well...it's now June 14th 2015 & I still haven't filed. Logically, this makes no sense. My marriage is over & have no desire to reconcile with my wife. I'm not sure what is holding me back. Is it guilt, responsibility, failure or am I simply punishing myself for hurting my wife?
In March, my girlfriend let me know that she would allow me until June 12th to file for divorce. If I had not, she would end the relationship and any further attempts by me to reconcile would not be considered. She has made all arrangements to leave on June 16th, which has lead me to this forum. I don't want to lose her!!!
Thru individual counseling...
I've learned there is an unhealthy codependency within my marriage & relationship with wife. Throughout the marriage, I pretty much took care of everything from making the money, paying bills...taking care of everything she didn't want to deal with. For the most part, I was ok with this arrangement. I just wanted her to be happy...even at my expense. Over time, my feelings changed. Resentment & feelings of being taken for granted grew.
Back to my dilemma...
What the hell is wrong with me? What is driving my behavior? What am I getting out of not filing for divorce?
Thanks again. I look forward to your responses.
My situation is not unusual, but none the less, is wearing on me. I hope you can help me better understand & work thru my emotional roadblock. Thank you for your time, advice & insight.
Brief history...
May 2012-May 2013: I separated from my wife and moved out of the house for a year. During this time, I met & started dating a wonderful woman.
June 2013: I moved back home to give my marriage one more chance.
Dec 2013:
I told my wife I wanted a divorce, but I would wait 1 yr before filing. This would give her time to get herself emotionally & financially settled. I love my girlfriend & begged for another chance. I also told her of my plan to end my marriage & file Jan 2015.
Based partially on my promise (she'd heard them before), in May 2014, she moved several hundred miles so that we could be together. We began living together in June of 2014.
Well...it's now June 14th 2015 & I still haven't filed. Logically, this makes no sense. My marriage is over & have no desire to reconcile with my wife. I'm not sure what is holding me back. Is it guilt, responsibility, failure or am I simply punishing myself for hurting my wife?
In March, my girlfriend let me know that she would allow me until June 12th to file for divorce. If I had not, she would end the relationship and any further attempts by me to reconcile would not be considered. She has made all arrangements to leave on June 16th, which has lead me to this forum. I don't want to lose her!!!
Thru individual counseling...
I've learned there is an unhealthy codependency within my marriage & relationship with wife. Throughout the marriage, I pretty much took care of everything from making the money, paying bills...taking care of everything she didn't want to deal with. For the most part, I was ok with this arrangement. I just wanted her to be happy...even at my expense. Over time, my feelings changed. Resentment & feelings of being taken for granted grew.
Back to my dilemma...
What the hell is wrong with me? What is driving my behavior? What am I getting out of not filing for divorce?
Thanks again. I look forward to your responses.
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