Not sure where to start. Have been thinking about he inevitability of divorce for quite some time now. My husband and I met when we were 16, were married at 21, had our first child at 24, and our second at 28. Our marriage has become something like a business arrangement or room mate situation. Higher education and any career goals I had took a back seat to the responsibilities of raising children and supporting his professional ambitions.
Shortly before our second child was born my husband confessed that he no longer wanted to be married. We worked through it, clearly only patching it superficially. Again last year things came to a head and again we smoothed things over. I have been unhappy for a while now. I feel suffocated. I love him dearly and he is an amazing father and person. I'm afraid that I just love him enough to be married anymore.
The reason that I am writing this post, finally, is because three weeks ago he found out about an online relationship that I had been having for several months. He's devastated and rightly so. The conversations were very intimate. I don't put any blame on him for what I did. I have tried talking to him about this for years. Asking that we please go to counseling together. He's not interested in going. He feels we can fix it ourselves. Which is obviously not true.
I'm torn. I guess my real problem is, do I trade in one type of unhappiness for another? Will I actually be any happier on my own? Uprooting my children just so I can be happy? Oh, and I no longer talk to the man online. I wouldn't be making this decision based on him.
Shortly before our second child was born my husband confessed that he no longer wanted to be married. We worked through it, clearly only patching it superficially. Again last year things came to a head and again we smoothed things over. I have been unhappy for a while now. I feel suffocated. I love him dearly and he is an amazing father and person. I'm afraid that I just love him enough to be married anymore.
The reason that I am writing this post, finally, is because three weeks ago he found out about an online relationship that I had been having for several months. He's devastated and rightly so. The conversations were very intimate. I don't put any blame on him for what I did. I have tried talking to him about this for years. Asking that we please go to counseling together. He's not interested in going. He feels we can fix it ourselves. Which is obviously not true.
I'm torn. I guess my real problem is, do I trade in one type of unhappiness for another? Will I actually be any happier on my own? Uprooting my children just so I can be happy? Oh, and I no longer talk to the man online. I wouldn't be making this decision based on him.
Put the internet to work for you.
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