I am 45 & my wife is 38. We have been married 12 years now & have two sons,9 & 7, and we live near Atlanta, GA.
About 2 years ago I found out that my wife had been having an affair with her cousins husband. It had lasted over a year. They live up in Syracuse, NY and he is a trucker whose route is Syracuse to Atlanta. I am an airline pilot, navy veteran, and until then I had thought our marriage was fine. She was a good wife and loving mom. We rarely argued and everything seemed fine to me.
She had been having her cousins husband stay in our home with her, sending our boys on sleepovers and such, when he had overnight stays. For some of those I was home and I suspected nothing between them. Obviously, she never told me that she was sending our sons on sleepovers when he was here and I was away.
His wife discovered texts, emails, facebook messages, etc. between the two of them that were explicit, uncensored, graphic, nasty, etc. and called our home in a rage screaming in our answering machine for my wife to keep her bleeping hands off of her husband. She called me as well and forwarded me all of this.
My wife denied it at first, before the evidence piled in, and only confessed when I confronted her with the packet of emails, etc. that her cousin had sent me in the mail.
This has torn her family apart as now her own sister does not speak with her and obviously her cousins side of the family wants nothing to do with her or her family anymore. My wife's sister still stays in touch with me but only, I think, to keep up with her nephews. She will not speak to her sister.
We went to counseling with our pastor and my wife swore that this was a one time thing, there had been no other men, and that it would never happen again if I would forgive her and give her a second chance.
Her cousin divorced her husband and told me that my wife had simply been one of several he'd been messing around with.
But every time that I look at my wife I see her in another mans arms and it is making me insane.
I do not trust her one bit even though I haven't seen one thing to suspect in these past two years......maybe because I didn't see anything the first time?
How did any of you learn to trust your spouse again?
I love her very much and I forgive her but I cannot go the rest of my life with suspicion in my thoughts all the time.
If I even see her smile when she's talking with another man it makes me paranoid.
Can I learn to trust her again? Because this is eating me up inside.
About 2 years ago I found out that my wife had been having an affair with her cousins husband. It had lasted over a year. They live up in Syracuse, NY and he is a trucker whose route is Syracuse to Atlanta. I am an airline pilot, navy veteran, and until then I had thought our marriage was fine. She was a good wife and loving mom. We rarely argued and everything seemed fine to me.
She had been having her cousins husband stay in our home with her, sending our boys on sleepovers and such, when he had overnight stays. For some of those I was home and I suspected nothing between them. Obviously, she never told me that she was sending our sons on sleepovers when he was here and I was away.
His wife discovered texts, emails, facebook messages, etc. between the two of them that were explicit, uncensored, graphic, nasty, etc. and called our home in a rage screaming in our answering machine for my wife to keep her bleeping hands off of her husband. She called me as well and forwarded me all of this.
My wife denied it at first, before the evidence piled in, and only confessed when I confronted her with the packet of emails, etc. that her cousin had sent me in the mail.
This has torn her family apart as now her own sister does not speak with her and obviously her cousins side of the family wants nothing to do with her or her family anymore. My wife's sister still stays in touch with me but only, I think, to keep up with her nephews. She will not speak to her sister.
We went to counseling with our pastor and my wife swore that this was a one time thing, there had been no other men, and that it would never happen again if I would forgive her and give her a second chance.
Her cousin divorced her husband and told me that my wife had simply been one of several he'd been messing around with.
But every time that I look at my wife I see her in another mans arms and it is making me insane.
I do not trust her one bit even though I haven't seen one thing to suspect in these past two years......maybe because I didn't see anything the first time?
How did any of you learn to trust your spouse again?
I love her very much and I forgive her but I cannot go the rest of my life with suspicion in my thoughts all the time.
If I even see her smile when she's talking with another man it makes me paranoid.
Can I learn to trust her again? Because this is eating me up inside.
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