I really don't know what to make of this situation.
Things ended rather dramatically between us, but we decided to stay friends (which is tough since I still have feelings for him, but we're both part of a small local art scene and run into each other all the time, we really connect on an artistic / intellectual level, and are probably going to work on a project together at some point, so yeah, it just makes sense I guess. I don't want to exclude myself from certain things just because of what happened between us).
I was just beginning to get over him when last night I stupidly (semi-drunkenly) decided it would be a good idea to go home together. We talked loads, and for the first time he admitted to making some mistakes and acknowledged that he did hurt me. He also sort of opened up about his hang-ups when it comes to relationships and emotions in general. It felt pretty good to just be open and honest with each other, I guess.
Anyway, we got into bed together and started kissing and cuddling. He was really sweet and sort of holding me really tightly the whole time, and he didn't make any attempt to initiate sex (thank god for that).
Today he stayed till 2pm, just talking and laughing. I mentioned I'm having a house party on Saturday and it sounded like he wanted to come. When he left, though, it was really awkward, he just sort of kissed me on the cheek and said 'see you in two weeks' (there's an event on then which we're both attending) while he'd previously sounded pretty sure he wanted to come to the party? (My flatmate was also standing in the hallway when we were saying goodbye, which might have enhanced the awkwardness.)
So yeah, now I feel like total ****, like I've totally opened myself up to be hurt all over again. Also I don't know what to make of any of this. What on earth is going through that boy's head, I honestly don't know.
Anyone have any insights?
Put the internet to work for you.
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