1. Don't expect to see them. Ever.
2. Accept the fact they will have many
affairs. With their books.
3. Learn to hide your "ew, gross"
reactions when they tell you all the
stuff you never wanted to know about
your bodily functions.
4. Support them when they come home
after each test, upset because they
failed—and gently remind them after
they get their well above passing
grade how unnecessary the "I'm
going to fail out of medical school
and never become an MD" dramatics
are.
5. Each week they will have a new
illness. Some will be extremely rare,
others will be more mundane.
Doesn't matter. They will be certain
they have it (no second opinions
necessary.) Med school can, and will,
turn even the sanest into a
hypochondriac. Date them for long
enough, and you'll become one too.
6. There will be weeks you'll forget you
even have a boyfriend—friends will
ask how he is and you'll say, "What?
Who? Oh....right. He's well...I think."
7. They'll make you hyper-aware that
germs are everywhere and on
everything. Even though you used to
walk into your home with your shoes
on, and sit on your bed in the same
clothes you just wore while riding the
subway, or sat on a public bench in,
you'll become far too disgusted to
ever do it again. Believe me, it's
going to get bad...you'll watch
yourself transform into the anal
retentive person you swore you'd
never become. And when you witness
others perform these same acts that,
before you began dating your med
student, you spent your entire life
doing too, you'll wince and wonder,
"Ew! How can they do that? Don't
they know how many germs and
bacteria they're spreading??!"
8. Romantic date = Chinese take-out in
front of the TV on their 10 minute
study break.
9. A vacation together consists of a trip
down the street to Walgreens for new
highlighters and printer paper.
10. Their study habits will make you feel
like a complete slacker. For them,
hitting the books 8-to-10 hours a day
is not uncommon, nor difficult. You'll
wonder how you ever managed to
pass school on your meager one hour
of studying per night.
11. They're expected to know everything.
Everything! The name of the 8
billion-lettered, German sounding cell
that lives in the depths of your inner
ear, the technical term for the "no
one's ever heard of this disease"
disease that exists only on one foot of
the Southern tip of the African
continent. But ask them if your knee
is swollen, or what you should do to
tame your mucous-filled cough, or
why the heck your head feels like
someone's been drilling through it for
oil for two weeks straight, and they
won't have a clue.
12. "My brain's filled with so much
information, I can't be expected to
remember THAT!" will be the
standard excuse for forgetting
anniversaries, birthdays, and, if you
get this far, probably the birth of
your first-born.
13. You'll need friends with unending
patience who pretend never to get
sick of listening to your endless
venting and complaints. Or, you'll
need to pay a therapist who will
pretend never to get sick of listening
to your endless venting and
complaints.
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