Last March, my husband cheated. In a way that sounds near unbelievable...which adds to how little respect he must have for me, our marriage, our family, even our home. Many years ago, when we were first married, we both had affairs in our early years. It was terrible, heartbreaking, and a definite wake up call. We pulled through, went to intensive counseling, grew up, forgave and moved on. One of those encounters took away our wedding anniversary, we've never celebrated our anniversary since because of the reminder of what happened on that day. He went to a bachelor party and their group ended up at a strip club. In the middle of the night, I felt an arm around me and immediately realized it was not my husband's arm. Quite a shock! It was his best friend, who had let himself into our house and into my bed, for the purpose of offering revenge. Turns out, my husband had picked up a stripper from the club and had taken her to a hotel for sex. Once the best friend told me what my husband was doing, I was thrilled to see him and had no regret in the world about ****ing him until sunrise. So, that's why we don't have an anniversary. Our 13th rolled around a few days ago.
Fast forward to the twelfth anniversary. We went skiing with our children and the husband broke his collarbone (into 3 pieces), he had surgery a week later on my birthday. I cared for him like I was his 24 hour personal nurse, did everything I could to keep him comfortable pre-op and post-op. Probably the first time I had ever shown such an extreme level of compassion and care. Two weeks after surgery, he was feeling much better. Better enough, in fact, to have another woman.
Another couple we have known for the past eight years, relocated to our city. We became very involved with them to help them get settled into a new place, learn their way around, made plans together and set up sleep overs with our kids. The wife, she was ok to hang out with and I considered her a close acquaintance. I wasn't terribly fond of her personality, so I never considered her a friend. Anyhow, her husband had to leave town for work and was gone for about two months. About a week after he left, and two weeks after my husband's surgery, she and I went out for drinks. I'd been playing nurse for three weeks and my husband was feeling better. We left all of the kids with my husband (ours and theirs) while we got out for a bit. Turns out she can't hold her alcohol very well, she was smashed. In the bar, she disappeared. I assumed she was somewhere puking, until I discovered she was in the storage room with the bartender (a really sleazy, gross older man...missing teeth, probably 20+ years older than her). Perfect! I go out for drinks to enjoy myself and now I'm babysitting. Sobered her up as much as I could and managed to keep her from leaving with another guy...I want to say she was kissing at least three different men at the bar that night. We went outside for air and of course she face plants and scrapes up her chin. It took at least half an hour more to get her into the car (where she came onto me as well) and finally make it back to my house.
Once we get back, her kids are asleep in the living room. She tries to go to sleep on the couch with one of the kids. I'm not having it because they do not need to see their mother in that kind of shape. I put her in my bed and she seems to immediately go to sleep, I get on my side, and my husband says he will sleep on my daughter's trundle in her room. My husband always rubs my back for a bit before we go to sleep, he stayed to rub my back and then would switch to the other bed. I'm exhausted and go to sleep. I had possibly been asleep for twenty minutes, maybe thirty when I woke up from the sound of the two of them together, in my bed, right next to me.
When I woke up, clearly I was in shock by what I was seeing. I said nothing and watched. I don't know if I was trying to convince myself it wasn't really happening, maybe I was dreaming, or to see if he could/would stop on his own. After watching for probably two minutes, which they were both completely nude, tongues down each other's throats, panting and rolling around, I turned away to try to figure out 1) how to stop it, and 2) how to not commit murder. I turned back just in time to see him fishing for her tampon and trying to penetrate her, that's right, the nasty **** was on her period. I said "you had better think long and hard about what you are about to do." She immediately rolled away and pretended to be asleep, he jumped up and grabbed his pants. We went down stairs, I cried, I screamed, his excuse "it felt good." I left her in the room, I could not put her in a car with those kids. The next morning, I fed her children breakfast and got her out of the house. When I went back into my room, pulled the covers back with the intent of burning the ****ing things, blood everywhere in my bed. Not sure at what point my husband even washed himself. I still see them kissing, his back to me and her leg around his waist, him sitting above her trying to get the tampon out and his **** in. Whether he actually penetrated her, I don't know 100%, but I am fairly certain there was, certainly digital, and likely penile. Whether it technically counted as sex, I don't know other people's interpretation, but in my mind, it was. The blood wasn't the type of stain left from a leaking tampon, it was the type from having sex on your period. I see them every time I make the bed (different sheets now) and every time I get into bed. There are positions with him that are triggers for me, the sound as well, and I can't bring myself to kiss him with any passion without seeing them together.
We tried counseling that week and maybe attended five appointments in total, it was half assed and didn't do much except prevent my anger from causing physical harm. It will be a year in two more weeks, he's been gone four months of that year. I am still hurt, or devastated might be more appropriate, and have not healed at all. He is apologetic, and I believe he is sorry. He has tried, not nearly enough, but there has been effort on his part. I considered a revenge ****, he even gave me permission. I considered telling the other husband...but the kicker is that the other husband is my husband's boss. I did set up an anonymous email account and told him to ask his wife what she did while he was away, no idea if he ever saw it or if it will create enough suspicion for him to find out.
I am still as angry as ever, primarily to cover for the pain, betrayal, and worthlessness I feel. Unfortunately, he travels for work, a lot. Not long after he cheated, he was away for two months, my imagination went crazy. And now, he is away again in Las Vegas for two months. Of course, as the old saying goes. I don't trust him, and I imagine he could almost get away with murder there. The first time he traveled to Las Vegas for work, about 10 years ago, he started a relationship with someone he worked with. He told me he didn't want me there when he came back, so I left. We separated for about six months, he dated the girl for a while, but in the end we decided to give it one last shot because of our son. I have a lot of hard feelings toward him being in that city again, even though I was in the wrong at the same time back then. I cheated too, probably even more, than he did. With our current situation, I find myself reliving a lot of hard feelings and resentment over issues we both forgave many years ago. If he were to start another affair on his trip, I would never find out anyway. So, if he can do this in our bed, next to me, what in the world would stop him when he's away and won't get caught? Our marriage will most likely end in divorce this year. I don't think I can get over it this time, it may be that this time is just too traumatic to move past.
So, there is it. My husband cheated on me with his boss' wife, in our bed, while I was sleeping next to them...and left the blood stained sheets and image of them for me to deal with.
Fast forward to the twelfth anniversary. We went skiing with our children and the husband broke his collarbone (into 3 pieces), he had surgery a week later on my birthday. I cared for him like I was his 24 hour personal nurse, did everything I could to keep him comfortable pre-op and post-op. Probably the first time I had ever shown such an extreme level of compassion and care. Two weeks after surgery, he was feeling much better. Better enough, in fact, to have another woman.
Another couple we have known for the past eight years, relocated to our city. We became very involved with them to help them get settled into a new place, learn their way around, made plans together and set up sleep overs with our kids. The wife, she was ok to hang out with and I considered her a close acquaintance. I wasn't terribly fond of her personality, so I never considered her a friend. Anyhow, her husband had to leave town for work and was gone for about two months. About a week after he left, and two weeks after my husband's surgery, she and I went out for drinks. I'd been playing nurse for three weeks and my husband was feeling better. We left all of the kids with my husband (ours and theirs) while we got out for a bit. Turns out she can't hold her alcohol very well, she was smashed. In the bar, she disappeared. I assumed she was somewhere puking, until I discovered she was in the storage room with the bartender (a really sleazy, gross older man...missing teeth, probably 20+ years older than her). Perfect! I go out for drinks to enjoy myself and now I'm babysitting. Sobered her up as much as I could and managed to keep her from leaving with another guy...I want to say she was kissing at least three different men at the bar that night. We went outside for air and of course she face plants and scrapes up her chin. It took at least half an hour more to get her into the car (where she came onto me as well) and finally make it back to my house.
Once we get back, her kids are asleep in the living room. She tries to go to sleep on the couch with one of the kids. I'm not having it because they do not need to see their mother in that kind of shape. I put her in my bed and she seems to immediately go to sleep, I get on my side, and my husband says he will sleep on my daughter's trundle in her room. My husband always rubs my back for a bit before we go to sleep, he stayed to rub my back and then would switch to the other bed. I'm exhausted and go to sleep. I had possibly been asleep for twenty minutes, maybe thirty when I woke up from the sound of the two of them together, in my bed, right next to me.
When I woke up, clearly I was in shock by what I was seeing. I said nothing and watched. I don't know if I was trying to convince myself it wasn't really happening, maybe I was dreaming, or to see if he could/would stop on his own. After watching for probably two minutes, which they were both completely nude, tongues down each other's throats, panting and rolling around, I turned away to try to figure out 1) how to stop it, and 2) how to not commit murder. I turned back just in time to see him fishing for her tampon and trying to penetrate her, that's right, the nasty **** was on her period. I said "you had better think long and hard about what you are about to do." She immediately rolled away and pretended to be asleep, he jumped up and grabbed his pants. We went down stairs, I cried, I screamed, his excuse "it felt good." I left her in the room, I could not put her in a car with those kids. The next morning, I fed her children breakfast and got her out of the house. When I went back into my room, pulled the covers back with the intent of burning the ****ing things, blood everywhere in my bed. Not sure at what point my husband even washed himself. I still see them kissing, his back to me and her leg around his waist, him sitting above her trying to get the tampon out and his **** in. Whether he actually penetrated her, I don't know 100%, but I am fairly certain there was, certainly digital, and likely penile. Whether it technically counted as sex, I don't know other people's interpretation, but in my mind, it was. The blood wasn't the type of stain left from a leaking tampon, it was the type from having sex on your period. I see them every time I make the bed (different sheets now) and every time I get into bed. There are positions with him that are triggers for me, the sound as well, and I can't bring myself to kiss him with any passion without seeing them together.
We tried counseling that week and maybe attended five appointments in total, it was half assed and didn't do much except prevent my anger from causing physical harm. It will be a year in two more weeks, he's been gone four months of that year. I am still hurt, or devastated might be more appropriate, and have not healed at all. He is apologetic, and I believe he is sorry. He has tried, not nearly enough, but there has been effort on his part. I considered a revenge ****, he even gave me permission. I considered telling the other husband...but the kicker is that the other husband is my husband's boss. I did set up an anonymous email account and told him to ask his wife what she did while he was away, no idea if he ever saw it or if it will create enough suspicion for him to find out.
I am still as angry as ever, primarily to cover for the pain, betrayal, and worthlessness I feel. Unfortunately, he travels for work, a lot. Not long after he cheated, he was away for two months, my imagination went crazy. And now, he is away again in Las Vegas for two months. Of course, as the old saying goes. I don't trust him, and I imagine he could almost get away with murder there. The first time he traveled to Las Vegas for work, about 10 years ago, he started a relationship with someone he worked with. He told me he didn't want me there when he came back, so I left. We separated for about six months, he dated the girl for a while, but in the end we decided to give it one last shot because of our son. I have a lot of hard feelings toward him being in that city again, even though I was in the wrong at the same time back then. I cheated too, probably even more, than he did. With our current situation, I find myself reliving a lot of hard feelings and resentment over issues we both forgave many years ago. If he were to start another affair on his trip, I would never find out anyway. So, if he can do this in our bed, next to me, what in the world would stop him when he's away and won't get caught? Our marriage will most likely end in divorce this year. I don't think I can get over it this time, it may be that this time is just too traumatic to move past.
So, there is it. My husband cheated on me with his boss' wife, in our bed, while I was sleeping next to them...and left the blood stained sheets and image of them for me to deal with.
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