I have posted a few times now about the issues I have been dealing with, with my wife and the advice and support on this forum has been very helpful.
Last Friday it felt like my world just absolutely collapsed. After several discussions over a number of weeks, my wife and I began talking about reconciling. I talked about what I would need - to know that I had been told the truth about her affair and that the man she cheated with (Jason) would never come back into our lives. She acknowledged that and finally told me the whole truth. As painful as it was to hear, as I was glad to have the truth and know that we could move on.....finally. She assured me yet again, that Jason was out of her life, as she has done countless times since March; she had not contacted him and never would again.
I decided to confront Jason and tell him I knew the truth, what a manipulative user he was for taking advantage of my wife while she was recovering from her psychotic breakdown and to stay out of our lives and never contact her again. My plan completely backfired in spectacular fashion. After speaking with him I finally have the real truth. I was physically ill after I got off the phone from him, and I could barely comprehend what he was telling me. In short
- my wife never stopped contact with him. Even during our marriage counselling sessions, she was still in contact with him
- their affair included physical sex, not just dirty messaging and photos like my wife said
- she has continually and repeatedly lied to me, about nearly everything it seems.
- she has lied to him. She admitted to me that she lied to him about her psychotic breakdown
- she has lied to our marriage counsellor
- she has lied to her own psychiatrist
- she has lied to all her family and friends
Everything makes so much sense now. All of the little things that didn't add up have all fallen into place now.
Since she has been caught out, she has blamed me for her lies, saying I gave her no choice. She has claimed that I am the mentally ill one, not her. She has accused me of bullying and harassing her and become extremely aggressive towards me.
I have spoken to my own therapist at length about this and his belief is that she is a compulsive or pathological liar and that until she admits her lies to herself and her therapist, she will never improve.
Does anyone have any experience with a compulsive liar? Can they be cured? I'm just in total shock about this whole thing.
I can't believe this has happened, especially after we had been speaking about reconciling.
I don't think I will ever trust anyone again.
Cheers
Brad
Last Friday it felt like my world just absolutely collapsed. After several discussions over a number of weeks, my wife and I began talking about reconciling. I talked about what I would need - to know that I had been told the truth about her affair and that the man she cheated with (Jason) would never come back into our lives. She acknowledged that and finally told me the whole truth. As painful as it was to hear, as I was glad to have the truth and know that we could move on.....finally. She assured me yet again, that Jason was out of her life, as she has done countless times since March; she had not contacted him and never would again.
I decided to confront Jason and tell him I knew the truth, what a manipulative user he was for taking advantage of my wife while she was recovering from her psychotic breakdown and to stay out of our lives and never contact her again. My plan completely backfired in spectacular fashion. After speaking with him I finally have the real truth. I was physically ill after I got off the phone from him, and I could barely comprehend what he was telling me. In short
- my wife never stopped contact with him. Even during our marriage counselling sessions, she was still in contact with him
- their affair included physical sex, not just dirty messaging and photos like my wife said
- she has continually and repeatedly lied to me, about nearly everything it seems.
- she has lied to him. She admitted to me that she lied to him about her psychotic breakdown
- she has lied to our marriage counsellor
- she has lied to her own psychiatrist
- she has lied to all her family and friends
Everything makes so much sense now. All of the little things that didn't add up have all fallen into place now.
Since she has been caught out, she has blamed me for her lies, saying I gave her no choice. She has claimed that I am the mentally ill one, not her. She has accused me of bullying and harassing her and become extremely aggressive towards me.
I have spoken to my own therapist at length about this and his belief is that she is a compulsive or pathological liar and that until she admits her lies to herself and her therapist, she will never improve.
Does anyone have any experience with a compulsive liar? Can they be cured? I'm just in total shock about this whole thing.
I can't believe this has happened, especially after we had been speaking about reconciling.
I don't think I will ever trust anyone again.
Cheers
Brad
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