and feel horrible!
Sorry for the long post, please read....
Im a girl and he is a little older. We often used to hang out at his and I'd stop over (in different rooms, I always made sure), we'd have a few drinks and game.
One night I found out my ex who I'd not long broken up with was dating the one girl I'd always worried about and who he'd always sworn was a friend. In my very emotional state I decided it was the best idea to run to my friend and get ridiculously drunk.
Apparently in this state id hooked up with him, with a nice snotty break down in the middle where I cried my eyes out about my ex *cringe*. I don't remember any of that but I do remember in the morning I was feeling very wanted and whilst I hurt over my ex, my friend was showing me a lot of affection and I felt affection for him too so I initiated sex again.
Later, when I wasn't so emotional I realised that whilst I felt a lot of affection for him it was platonic. His loyalty had attracted me to him in my emotional state but there is nothing else there that attracts me physically or otherwise. To make matters worse I found out he was a virgin, id had my suspicions but I didn't know if it was that or he was just very nervous and he doesn't have any confidence in himself. A month later he told me he loved me
So now I feel like an awful person and get so guilty about it I feel physically sick. I feel like I've abused his trust or should have known that he wouldn't have been able to separate his feelings and what the sex meant. The fact I initiated it makes me feel like I've forced him into it, although I didn't, he told me he had wanted it to happen. I don't know how to get over this guilt? it was a bad mistake and I told him that afterwards and made it clear I wasn't interested.
Put the internet to work for you.
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