First time on any site like this, so here goes……..
My wife & I have been together for 23 years, we have 3 small kids and she is a stay at home mom heavily involved in our kids school and activities. A couple of years ago, our daughter made friends with another girl whose parents we friended rather easily and have even vacationed with both of our families. (They also have a son who is now very good friends with our son) This other couple has a unique family dynamic where they both work from home (the husband is the assistant to the wife but is rarely needed). The other man is "Mr. Mom" in that he takes their kids to school, football, volleyball, gymnastics, etc. Because of this, my wife and this man and my wife have regular interaction. As a couple, we have 'grown apart" and are both guilty of letting life & kids choke our relationship of affection, intimacy, you name it. So my concerns are intensified because of the current state of our marriage I am sure. Here are highlights of new found concerns:
*He recently texted my wife (why not me?) asking her to call about how to join the "boot camp" that we do together as a couple, she did and he joined (without his spouse). I do not go on a certain day each week, leaving him there with her which never crossed my mind as concerning
*He texted her directly asking her and our kids to join him and his kids at a bounce house place (telling her his wife was home sick)
*He calls and texts my wife directly often regarding our kids' activities & school issues (I would think it is more appropriate for his wife to have these contacts) I never knew these contacts were taking place and must admit, we never set clear boundaries about texting in our marriage.
*I found out about all of this on my own last week when backing up her phone for her. At that time, I saw a text he sent her (6 hours after they were alone at boot camp that day) which contained sexual content. He did not make a direct advance, but sent sexual content to my wife in a direct text excluding both me and his wife. Makes matters worse that he was texting her as we were having our first "date lunch" in an attempt to begin reconnecting. She replied to him after lunch with a simple 'very funny."
* When I asked / confronted my wife about the sexual text primarily, she said she knew he had crossed a line, knew she should tell me and intended to later but did not want to upset me at work, BUT….she FORGOT and never told me that day. She swears she was going to and would probably be reminded to next time she opened her text app to send one to somebody else.
I have never really been concerned with her straying (other than what I assume is normal for men) but the fact she did not tell me (forgot) about a sexual themed text, assumed it was ok this whole time to communicate with him instead of his wife about stuff and feels uncertain that he is slowly making advances by saying that has never occurred to her has me very hurt & confused. She is defensive and says I have no reason to doubt her. I could go on forever with more thoughts, feelings and examples (like how my kids and their friends could be effected) but am physically and mentally exhausted :-/
My wife & I have been together for 23 years, we have 3 small kids and she is a stay at home mom heavily involved in our kids school and activities. A couple of years ago, our daughter made friends with another girl whose parents we friended rather easily and have even vacationed with both of our families. (They also have a son who is now very good friends with our son) This other couple has a unique family dynamic where they both work from home (the husband is the assistant to the wife but is rarely needed). The other man is "Mr. Mom" in that he takes their kids to school, football, volleyball, gymnastics, etc. Because of this, my wife and this man and my wife have regular interaction. As a couple, we have 'grown apart" and are both guilty of letting life & kids choke our relationship of affection, intimacy, you name it. So my concerns are intensified because of the current state of our marriage I am sure. Here are highlights of new found concerns:
*He recently texted my wife (why not me?) asking her to call about how to join the "boot camp" that we do together as a couple, she did and he joined (without his spouse). I do not go on a certain day each week, leaving him there with her which never crossed my mind as concerning
*He texted her directly asking her and our kids to join him and his kids at a bounce house place (telling her his wife was home sick)
*He calls and texts my wife directly often regarding our kids' activities & school issues (I would think it is more appropriate for his wife to have these contacts) I never knew these contacts were taking place and must admit, we never set clear boundaries about texting in our marriage.
*I found out about all of this on my own last week when backing up her phone for her. At that time, I saw a text he sent her (6 hours after they were alone at boot camp that day) which contained sexual content. He did not make a direct advance, but sent sexual content to my wife in a direct text excluding both me and his wife. Makes matters worse that he was texting her as we were having our first "date lunch" in an attempt to begin reconnecting. She replied to him after lunch with a simple 'very funny."
* When I asked / confronted my wife about the sexual text primarily, she said she knew he had crossed a line, knew she should tell me and intended to later but did not want to upset me at work, BUT….she FORGOT and never told me that day. She swears she was going to and would probably be reminded to next time she opened her text app to send one to somebody else.
I have never really been concerned with her straying (other than what I assume is normal for men) but the fact she did not tell me (forgot) about a sexual themed text, assumed it was ok this whole time to communicate with him instead of his wife about stuff and feels uncertain that he is slowly making advances by saying that has never occurred to her has me very hurt & confused. She is defensive and says I have no reason to doubt her. I could go on forever with more thoughts, feelings and examples (like how my kids and their friends could be effected) but am physically and mentally exhausted :-/
Put the internet to work for you.
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