I've been lurking for years and finally have a question for which I would like to solicit your feedback.
The short story at the time:
3 years have passed and I still have an incredibly hard time trusting her even though I see no signs of the previous behavior. I think most of my trust issues revolve around our religious differences. I consider myself to be a secular humanist and she is somewhere between Orthodox Christian and new age crystals (if you look up the Twin Flames piece you'll see how it is difficult to reconcile with Orthodox Christianity). I have no way to accept that her belief system will not allow her to engage in the same behavior with the OM or any other man in the future. However she said that she has found a way to prevent it from happening again and being able to recognize it before any lines are crossed. Maybe through realigning chakras or changing her aura colors…I'm unsure of the details but I assume it involves some level of pseudoscience.
My question…can a couple with vastly different belief systems ever find enough common ground to allow for full R?
I hoped to be further along after 3 years, not worried every time she is late or her phone gets a text. :(
The short story at the time:
- Married 17 years together for 23
- 2 children (9 and 7)
- WW (40) had at least an EA with our oldest child's piano instructor (27) and it continued for 4 months past DDay.
- DDay+4 months all communication stopped and no contact has been attempted by either of them.
- One exception DDAY+1year when OM sent an email that indicated he might be suicidal.
- WW called local police and asked for welfare check.
- WW then forwarded email to me and told me she had called in a welfare check.
- WW was very transparent and I was pleased.
- Lying was rampant from the moment I confronted and I still am unsure if I have the entire truth.
- WW believes that she and OM are/were Twin Flames (look it up, not good for me) or that she was under some kind of spell/control.
- WW has made these things part of her belief system and they cannot be talked about rationally or logically. (e.g. this could not have been a crush or her own decision)
- We agreed to reconcile and went to MC. (as see puts it "I was the RIGHT decision")
- WW has reassured me many times that it will never happen again.
3 years have passed and I still have an incredibly hard time trusting her even though I see no signs of the previous behavior. I think most of my trust issues revolve around our religious differences. I consider myself to be a secular humanist and she is somewhere between Orthodox Christian and new age crystals (if you look up the Twin Flames piece you'll see how it is difficult to reconcile with Orthodox Christianity). I have no way to accept that her belief system will not allow her to engage in the same behavior with the OM or any other man in the future. However she said that she has found a way to prevent it from happening again and being able to recognize it before any lines are crossed. Maybe through realigning chakras or changing her aura colors…I'm unsure of the details but I assume it involves some level of pseudoscience.
My question…can a couple with vastly different belief systems ever find enough common ground to allow for full R?
I hoped to be further along after 3 years, not worried every time she is late or her phone gets a text. :(
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