I have been married 8 years. A lot of those years have been rocky. Really rocky. But I love my husband and when I said "I Do" I made a commitment to him and to making this work. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good times too. We have a lot of fun together sometimes.
The bad times can get pretty bad. Verbally, my husband will take the lowest blows he can. He was also the "scape goat" when he was a kid so now if he feels like you are blaming him for anything he comes unhinged. But that's not the biggest problem for me.
The biggest problem is his weight. Shallow I know. He was never a small guy. He's 6' 2" and built like a lumberjack. I'm good with that. I love my big strong man. BUT... I don't like the extra 50 lbs of soft and squishy he's grown around the middle since we got married. I am a very sexual person but am less and less attracted to him. I'm 5' 7" and 130 lbs. He outweighs me by double. Now, call me crazy, but having all that weight on top of me going to town isn't a lot of fun for me. I've worked really hard to keep myself in shape and not put on a bunch of weight after we got married. I want to look good for my husband so he stays attracted to me. I also want to be in good shape for my 4 yo son.
I find myself looking and lusting at guys I don't even know. We go to the beach and I'm staring at some guy thinking about how it would be to run my hands over him. And he's not even a guy with 6 pack abs. Just a guy who doesn't have a gut hanging over his swim trunks. It's not like I expect my husband to be a muscle bound gym rat. I just want him not to have folds of fat on his back anymore.
I recently got rid of FB and quit talking to a really good friend of mine (my best friends foster brother) because I was way too tempted to hook up with him and he was way too willing. I could see where it was going and it scared me that I wanted it to.
I've tried talking to DH about his weight, I've tried telling him I want him to be around for our son and I worry about his health. I've tried getting rid of the junk food but he goes and buys more. I've tired running with him. I've tried counting calories with him. I've straight up told him that our current poor sex life would improve with weight loss. I've even gone as far as offering bedroom favors for pounds lost. What else can I do??? I know we both want more sex but the honest truth is right now it's once a week because I'm not attracted to all that extra weight and it's uncomfortable for me.
The bad times can get pretty bad. Verbally, my husband will take the lowest blows he can. He was also the "scape goat" when he was a kid so now if he feels like you are blaming him for anything he comes unhinged. But that's not the biggest problem for me.
The biggest problem is his weight. Shallow I know. He was never a small guy. He's 6' 2" and built like a lumberjack. I'm good with that. I love my big strong man. BUT... I don't like the extra 50 lbs of soft and squishy he's grown around the middle since we got married. I am a very sexual person but am less and less attracted to him. I'm 5' 7" and 130 lbs. He outweighs me by double. Now, call me crazy, but having all that weight on top of me going to town isn't a lot of fun for me. I've worked really hard to keep myself in shape and not put on a bunch of weight after we got married. I want to look good for my husband so he stays attracted to me. I also want to be in good shape for my 4 yo son.
I find myself looking and lusting at guys I don't even know. We go to the beach and I'm staring at some guy thinking about how it would be to run my hands over him. And he's not even a guy with 6 pack abs. Just a guy who doesn't have a gut hanging over his swim trunks. It's not like I expect my husband to be a muscle bound gym rat. I just want him not to have folds of fat on his back anymore.
I recently got rid of FB and quit talking to a really good friend of mine (my best friends foster brother) because I was way too tempted to hook up with him and he was way too willing. I could see where it was going and it scared me that I wanted it to.
I've tried talking to DH about his weight, I've tried telling him I want him to be around for our son and I worry about his health. I've tried getting rid of the junk food but he goes and buys more. I've tired running with him. I've tried counting calories with him. I've straight up told him that our current poor sex life would improve with weight loss. I've even gone as far as offering bedroom favors for pounds lost. What else can I do??? I know we both want more sex but the honest truth is right now it's once a week because I'm not attracted to all that extra weight and it's uncomfortable for me.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment