Where do I start? I've been married to my beautiful Wife for 5 years, together for 7. I love her dearly, we have no children, and I am 28 she is 30.
2 years ago she had an EA which rocked my world. We went to MC and it didn't really help at all, even though we went to 4 different ones. I realize she cheated because I wasn't giving her enough attention and have made the changes in my life to make her feel more like a priority and show her that I truly cherish her. She swears up and down that it was never physical but my I can't help but think otherwise. She lied about cutting it off with the OM 2 times and I find myself thinking that the only reason I stayed with her at that time was I literally had nowhere to go and would have ended up homeless (literally). We lived with her parents for 2 years due to a job loss and we could no longer afford our rent. We now have a beautiful house, 2 great jobs, love each other dearly, and enjoy life! I truly do love her and all seems well and perfect except it is not. My sex drive since this happened has been on complete shut down. I have went to see 3 different IC therapists to see if they could help and they only thing that they have been able to show me is that the reason I have shut down is because she had refused me for so long and so many times on my sexual advances. I have essentially shut off but only for her. I find myself wanting a normal sex life and she claims she wants to be intimate with me but I have no desire to be intimate with her any more at all. I really want to stay with her and have this marriage work but want what so many others have and that is intimacy in their marriage. I'm just not sure what to do and am ready to give up. She has given up on advancing on me since I just reject her all the time. I know it's my duty as a husband to have sex with her but I don't even get aroused so it's kind of difficult to do. It's been 6 months since we last had sex, and there has never been anything other than plain vanilla sex since we were married. When we were dating we had plenty of fun, oral, making out, playing with each oth er. Now there is nothing and the sex just seems boring to me. All of the counselors I have been to say that it's because of what I went through and having her not only cheat on me, but shoot me down repeatedly after cheating. It just feels like she never really tried to help me get over it and wanted to rug sweep the whole thing. Any advice I can get here is greatly appreciated, I'm completely lost and jealous of what friends have in their relationships........
2 years ago she had an EA which rocked my world. We went to MC and it didn't really help at all, even though we went to 4 different ones. I realize she cheated because I wasn't giving her enough attention and have made the changes in my life to make her feel more like a priority and show her that I truly cherish her. She swears up and down that it was never physical but my I can't help but think otherwise. She lied about cutting it off with the OM 2 times and I find myself thinking that the only reason I stayed with her at that time was I literally had nowhere to go and would have ended up homeless (literally). We lived with her parents for 2 years due to a job loss and we could no longer afford our rent. We now have a beautiful house, 2 great jobs, love each other dearly, and enjoy life! I truly do love her and all seems well and perfect except it is not. My sex drive since this happened has been on complete shut down. I have went to see 3 different IC therapists to see if they could help and they only thing that they have been able to show me is that the reason I have shut down is because she had refused me for so long and so many times on my sexual advances. I have essentially shut off but only for her. I find myself wanting a normal sex life and she claims she wants to be intimate with me but I have no desire to be intimate with her any more at all. I really want to stay with her and have this marriage work but want what so many others have and that is intimacy in their marriage. I'm just not sure what to do and am ready to give up. She has given up on advancing on me since I just reject her all the time. I know it's my duty as a husband to have sex with her but I don't even get aroused so it's kind of difficult to do. It's been 6 months since we last had sex, and there has never been anything other than plain vanilla sex since we were married. When we were dating we had plenty of fun, oral, making out, playing with each oth er. Now there is nothing and the sex just seems boring to me. All of the counselors I have been to say that it's because of what I went through and having her not only cheat on me, but shoot me down repeatedly after cheating. It just feels like she never really tried to help me get over it and wanted to rug sweep the whole thing. Any advice I can get here is greatly appreciated, I'm completely lost and jealous of what friends have in their relationships........
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