Since I have become a member on TSR I keep seeing the same issues and posts over and over with people (both guys and girls) worrying about similar things.
As someone who has conquered the demons I would like to give my opinion on some situations I have been through and general observations, hopefully it will help some of you.
1. Rejection
A lot of you are terrified of rejection like it would cause a nuclear fallout it you ask someone out and get rejected.
In my experience - I have asked out a number people in the past and most, apart from a few, have been rejections because chances of you liking someone and them liking you back at first sight or having got to know them a little are not high. If the chances were high people won't be so scared I think. Few things I have observed when I asked out guys -
No guy has ever stopped talking to me or was weird around me just because I asked him out. In fact in all cases (and there have been a lot) I became better friends with them because that initial 'am gonna feel supper awkward' thought would disappear after I ask a guy out and the guys felt somewhat flattered and were more friendly even though they said no.
This is true in both cases where I liked a guy and nothing ever happened and when I had kissed them on a night out.
2. Signals
People read a lot into body language and having read some articles in a cheap magazine everyone suddenly becomes an expert on it. I often see people saying 'he/she is very smiley' 'playing with her hair' 'touching my arm'.
Smiling - everybody who is happy smiles, if they smile at you it's not an indication they like you, maybe they like you as a friend.
Playing with her hair - sometimes I play with my hair cause I am slightly nervous, could be cause I like the guy but mostly cause I subconsciously feel uncomfortable for some reason.
Touch on the arm (or equivalent) - different upbringing (not even talking about cultures) are more touchy-feely than others. I normally playfully pat people on the back - it means absolutely nothing, just breaking the ice a bit with the person. There was an Italian guy who used to wink at me and it meant nothing cause that was just his personality and he had a nice gf.
Kisses at the end of a text - if you think that's a sign, it's a bad one to go by. I used to put kisses but sometimes I'd forget and my friend would think I am annoyed at her. From then on I stopped putting them to avoid confusion.
3. Giving 'obvious' hints
Don't bother with hints if you are not sure if the other person is getting it or not. If you have tried what you consider to be flirting/hinting and it doesn't work then it's not gonna work ever with that individual.
I once though a guy liked me cause he kept offering to give me lifts all the time. Also I invited him to a bbq at mine (not many people) and he came. He was chatty, joky, friendly. One of my friends told him I am kind of interested, turned out he was just being friendly, nothing more. People are different, you never know.
Somehow guys and girls think that the reaction of the other gender is going to different to how they would normally react (when being asked out for example). We are the same species and if you want to get the best answer to the questions 'how is he/she going to react if I ask him/her out?' or 'would it be very awkward if I get rejected?' Best you can do is ask yourself how you would react and you'll get a good answer cause the other person would react in a very similar way.
Overall my advise is - if you like someone and want to know if there is a chance, tell them you like them or blatantly ask them out.
I am not an expert and all of the above is only what I have observed in the past.
Put the internet to work for you.
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